Somewhere in Time
by TrueAngeltoErik
Summary: How and why did a microwave mishap send a modern day, ass kicking, crime scene technician kicking and screaming into ME? Sasha Knauer has no idea. BUT,even without her trusty gun and brilliant team of co-workers, she knows she'll ass kick her way to truth
1. Chapter 1

We all have our fall to ME stories, even if we don't admit it. This is one of mine, let me know what you think! I have tried my very hardest to keep things out of Suedom. Sasha isn't perfect, isn't a walking super beautiful godess, and surely didn't arrive in ME willingly.

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Disclaimer: All known characters are property of the late, great J.R.R. Tolkien. This is for my (and hopefully your) amusement only. I'm making no money, but if you can find a way to make it happen, sign me up!

//blah blah blah// = Sasha's thoughts

**~~Somewhere in Time**~~  
Chapter One.

"You just don't let up, do you?"

"Nope!" Sasha Knauer grinned cheekily at her trainer and almost friend Catherine. "What can I say? It's a flaw. I need help."

"Oh I'll give you help. For starters, you cannot, and I mean cannot stick your gun into another's backside and say 'Don't move or I'll blow your ass cheeks off."

"It worked, didn't it?" Sasha was appalled. Wasn't the general idea anything goes when the law was involved? "We got our sample and now we can go on our merry way." //Your way wasn't working//

"I can't tell whether you're brilliant or nuts. We had a warrant, we would have won the battle."

"Alright, alright, alright. So I'm this reckless loser who's never going to make it, right?" Sasha unwrapped ther messy braid and shook her head letting her hair fly.

"No, I didn't say that. You got balls kiddo, you just need to learn when to keep them hidden."

"Oh that sounds wonderful."

Catherine smirked, "Come on rookie, I'll buy you some java."

The pair walked to Bistro d'OC, enjoying their rare moment of peace. Crime was never going away, therefore, the state of Washington D.C. owned their souls until they were either dead or reached retirement; whichever happened first.

"So tell me something.." Catherine calmly asked the younger girl. "Crime scene technician.. Inspired by that show? Totally wrong you know, but it's good entertainment."

"No," Sasha laughed looking around for a sugar packet. "It was my dad actually. I guess you can say family pushing? I've got an uncle who heads one of the SWAT teams in New York, so…" she trailed off, letting the sentence close itself out.

"Wow, SWAT. You can't get anymore dangerous. So is that what you're looking to do eventually? Work in New York?"

"No, not even close. One day, I don't know when, or even how but I want to end up at the FBI crime lab in Virginia. But that's a long way off… like I said, one day."

"Oh yes, since your co-workers will be the brilliant minds of the FBI." Catherine teased warmly, wiping her mouth on her napkin. "Actually, you'll be the best trained out of all of them! Now we've sat too long. Come, up."

"All work no play I see."

"Oh get used to it. Why do you suppose there is such a high turnover rate?"

"Maternity leave?"

"Ah, if only. Now I am going to retrieve the rest of our goodies and you are going to go home and enjoy your last night of sleeping in your own bed. After tonight, it'll be cars and the odd couch or two. I mean it Sasha, your life won't be your own anymore."

"I get it, really. Um, when do I come back?"

"When I call you." Catherine replied, brushing imaginary wrinkles out of her clothes. "When you're needed."

"When's that?"

"Exactly. Go on now, go."

Tying her hair up in her usual ponytail, Sasha sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets. Although she had no life she had to worry about giving up, could she handle this on call business? Maybe she should have followed her mother's advice and studied teaching. At least she would have specified hours and specified curriculum.

"Is there anything else I'd rather be doing?" she questioned herself walking back home. That was her mom's favorite deep question. Sasha couldn't count all the times it had spelt out her choices.

"No, not at all. I'm doing exactly what I want and soon I'll be where I want to do it. Just gotta stick it out. Baby steps…"


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone! I apologize deeply for leaving you all for so long. I suppose you can all thank the holidays for that. Did everyone have fun? Does everyone like this story? I hope. Anyway, as usual, this is for my own amusement only; I'm making no cash on the deal.

//blah blah blah// = Thoughts.

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Upon walking in her door, Sasha booted up her stereo and swung open her pantry, staring into the vast and shallow unknown. "Yeahh" she groaned, looking around the dim kitchen then back in the pantry, as if anything edible would magically and quickly appear. There was an open pack of graham crackers, some unopened bottles of beer, and a few packages of Ramen noodles.

"Note to self. Find human food. Right after find a hot man with a nice paying job." Sasha smiled weakly at her pathetic joke and poured the uncooked clump of soup into a bowl. She stuck it in the microwave and set it for five minutes and sighed. Now what? Should she change? Shower? Sit down and rest?

As the other two options usually took time, she grabbed her leopard slippers, a purple shirt, and black track pants. At least if she got the dreaded phone call and had to run out fast, she was dressed.

"Has it been five minutes yet?" she groaned to a lamp. "I'm hungry." Of course silence. Had she really been expecting the inanimate object to answer?

Indeed, she soon saw her beloved food had been indeed cooking for much longer than necessary. The timer read 42:50.

"What the-" she grabbed a towel to substitute as a pot-holder, pressed the 'cancel' button and opened the door.

Well, what happened next… she wasn't really sure. There were flashes of green light, a strong ass gust of wind, and a liquidly substance Sasha prayed to God wasn't blood. Even in her chosen field, blood was not a strong love. She tilted her head so the liquid wouldn't interfere with her breathing and wondered how the hell she would explain all this to her landlord. Fuck, explaining it to HERSELF first.

Wait, was she alive? She couldn't even tell if she was hurt. She felt nothing.

Save for annoyance.

Although she could not understand the words, she was damn well aware enough someone was talking to her. Was it the fire department? Brilliant. A gorgeous firefighter and she probably looked like hell. Just her luck. She knew she was on the receiving end of the conversation because the oh so gorgeous hunk kept shaking her shoulder.

"You know where I come from," she opened her eyes and tried to sit up. "Most firefighters use the kiss of life. CPR."

"My lady, CPR?"

"Mmmphh. Don't make me laugh. Pain."

"What kind of pain?"

Great, a comedian. "The kind that hurts."

"Where does it hurt, my lady?"

//Where the hell should I start??// "No, I'm fine. Really. It's more shock then anything I'm figuring. Now I don't know how I got outside, but point me to the nearest phone and I'll be gone. Ok?"

"What is… what is a phone?"

Maybe she was in a foreign district. "Phone," she repeated, placing her thumb and pinky by her mouth. "Have you got one?"

"N-no…"

"Of course. Hey, it's alright. I've got a girlfriend who *always* denies having a phone to strangers. Just point me to one like I said before, it's cool. No hard feelings."

Of course this Ren-faire escapee wouldn't have a phone. Where would he put it?

No place she wanted to know about.

Finally able to stand, she was relieved to see her puddle was only water. Muddy water, but water nonetheless.

"So are you involved with SCA or something? Most people don't really run around dressed like you."

Maybe he was a fire-fighter with a 'special' hobby.

"They don't?" he laughed, "Shame. I suppose they are missing out. As for your question my lady, what is a SCA?"

Damn! These role-players were really into character! They wouldn't even admit to being one. Unless this dude was a rival of the SCA. Wait, do role-playing groups even have rivals?

"Ok," she laughed weakly. "I'm getting a little tired of these games so I'm going. Ok, bye!" she moved a step back and waved.

"My lady, where are you going all alone?"

"Home. I'm going home. Look, I figure you're some diplomat's son, which is pretty cool. You've got yourself a…" she trailed off thinking for a second, "a hobby and although it's not to my taste, good for you. But I'm not one for the past, I need to keep a sharp eye on the future. So, um, bye."

"My lady, I do not think you should travel alone."

"Nonsense. I've lived here for years. Tell me where I am, and I'll be fine."

"The lady is in Bree."

"Bree? I'm in Bree?" //Where the fuck is that?//

He nodded. "Aye."

"And that would be, where?"

He smiled. "And what happened to 'I will be fine?'"

"Where the hell is Bree?" Sasha didn't like this run-around. He didn't appear to set off her danger antennae, but why all the secrecy?

"Ok," she said softly, using her slow and deep dealing with a suspect voice. "I'm going to ask you this one time, and one time only. I expect a straight answer. Where is this Bree?"

He did sound foreign, maybe she just had to slow down and speak calmly.

He stared at her as though she were the one who was slow and foreign.

"It's in Middle-Earth."


	3. Chapter 3

**Language*

//Middle Earth, huh?// Sasha tilted her head back in silent laughter and rolled her eyes. "Ok, Lancelot, you and your other knights have a jolly old time in merry olde London, and I'll just be on my way." She mocked, over-exaggerating a British accent before walking off.

How hard did she hit her head? How stupid did that man think she was? How come nothing she saw for miles resembled any modern day D.C.?

"Oh fuckkk, don't tell me that loony bin escapee was right," she cursed, instinctively hugging herself. "No, no. It's impossible and any minute now I'm going to wake up and find out that I napped way too long and my food has gone totally cold."

Convinced she was dreaming, she lollygagged into the closest building she could find. The Prancing Pony. Awake and alert, she would have never put herself in a new and possibly dangerous position so quickly, but hell, she was dreaming. She couldn't die; she could do anything she damn well desired.

And that desire, was taking a seat.

Looking around, she took in the scenery of the room. Old, dark, and if not for the laughter and loud voices, very unwelcoming. Maybe she was in the ghetto?

"What'll it be, lassie?"

//Timmy is caught in a well and the house is on fire, quick! Hurry!// "Um, can I have good old Jack please? I need something strong."

"You meeting a Jack? Here?"

"No," she took a deep breath and sighed. "I'll take a beer then. Er, gin. Ale! That's what it's called. Ale!"

The bar-tender made a face and shrugged, shuffling off to leave the weird little girl kicking herself for her stupid mistake.

"Believe me yet, my lady?"

"Ugh!" the now annoyed weird little girl whirled around to face her least favorite role-player. "What are you doing here? Are you stalking me? Because let me tell you, if you are I am not in the mood and I have permission to carry a gun and blow your fuckin' brains out!" Out of habit, she reached towards her waist where she normally held her gun, and scowled when she made contact with thin air.

"Alright, well I don't have my gun but I'm pretty damn good with my fists. And stop smirking you, you… weirdo!"

"I apologize," he smiled, "but I simply find it amusing how you put on your show when I clearly mean you no harm."

"No harm? Let's review. You're stalking me, you walk around trying to tell me I'm in some fantasy realm that's made up, and you walk around with some sword attached to your back."

"And helping a lost lady clearly lost and in distress."

"Oh go away," Sasha downed the rest of her drink and spun around to face the exit. "I'm not in the mood for you."

"Please, just let me help you. You are lost here."

She took a fork and pointed it at him. "No, we are done here. I am going to leave, you're choices are either stay here alone, or leave, alone. I swear, you are no help at all."

//Huh?!//

"No, that's right. You're no help. Goodbye."

If she had a purse, she would have made extra sure to hit him, settled for flopping her hair over and walking backwards towards the door. Keeping her eye on him the whole time.


	4. Chapter 4

As ususal, I don't own anything or anyone you have seen before.

As per previous chapters, some naughty language is used.

As per previous chapters again, // blah blah blah// is thoughts.

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Annoyed, Sasha marched out of the inn and wandered about town, trying to make sense of her situation. All she could figure was she was not home. She didn't know why, she didn't know how. In her personal life, she didn't like riddles or ambiguous situations, a far cry from her professional life where guesswork was common practice. No, when it came to her personally, she liked all questions answered.

"Why the fuck am I here? What did I do?" she questioned, narrowing her eyes at the horse in front of her. She had found herself in a stable. "Not that I'm starting to believe that guy," she continued, "But what if..."

She ran her fingers through the horse's mane and whispered her most burning question, "and how the hell do I survive without my gun?"

It was at the moment Sasha made a deal with herself. She would accept this Middle- earth dream, or even injury but she would, with every beat of her heart, will herself to the real word once again. She decided she didn't care if that meant waking up in hospital.

"Ok horsie," she patted his neck smiling gently. "Let's see how far we can ride this. What do you say?"

"His name is Elros. Named for my kin."

Sasha looked up towards the wall and sighed. "Why can't you leave me alone? Isn't it obvious I need to be by myself?"

"If anything happened to the lady, I could never forgive myself."

"One, it's Sasha. No lady, no miss, and if you value your life, most definitely not ma'am. Two, I'm sure there are other lost girls you could be annoying."

"No Lady Sasha, just you."

She stopped petting Elros and turned towards him, "Did you hear a word I said?"

"I cannot call you what you wish. We are not married and we are not courting. It would be improper."

//Great, a comedian.//

"Hey, dude. We all have to make sacrifices here. It won't kill ya. By the way, what's your name?"

//I can't keep calling you Freak Boy.//

"I am Elladan Elrondian. Of Imladris."

//Fat chance you're getting my last name pal. I shouldn't have even told you my real first name.//

"Well, nice to meet ya Elladan, but if you don't mind, I gotta go."

"Go where my la- Sasha?"

Against her will, she grinned brightly at him. "See, you tried. That's all you can do and I'll totally accept that. Anyway, go away from here. Find help, shower, wake up maybe…" she muttered the last part to herself.

"Let me take you home with me," Elladan offered softly. "You are guaranteed safety in Imladris and ada would never send away a lady. Glorfy will be thrilled to have another pair of ears to listen to his stories."

//Take me home?!//

She knew damn well what he meant and she thought it to be innocent enough, but she was also a woman of the world. She hadn't seen such pureness in years, and felt like an old perverted woman for thinking like she did.

"I think I'll pass," she whispered, too tired and too confused to raise anymore hell. It was obvious no matter how she hemmed and hawed, he wasn't going to leave her in peace. As pure as his intentions may have been, she had learned very early on that everyone has the potential to do wrong.

"What? Why?"

Sasha got the feeling he wasn't used to girls turning him down. Ever. An evil and wily idea formed in her mind and a slow smile spread across her lips.

"We are not married and we are not courting. It would be improper." She smirked and sauntered off, leaving Elladan to only stare after his newly proven and skilled opponent.

As always, please leave a review :)

I'll give you cupcakes!


	5. Chapter 5

I was going to keep Elohir in Imladris waiting for them, but he ran streaking around and throwing a fit he wanted to be included ASAP, so here he is!

As usual, I don't own anything you've seen before.

As usual,

//blah blah blah// Sasha's thoughts  
::blah blah blah:: Elrohir's thoughts

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Sasha was stuck in her word. She mentally kicked herself for agreeing to this travesty of a plan and comforted herself by walking towards what she assumed to be the only road out of town. If this Elladan character wanted her around so much, well then he'd come to claim her. Grinning, she gathered her hair into a bun and continued on.

//Sometimes it's so much fun to be a girl!//

As expected, she heard the sound of footsteps behind her. She picked up male voices and harrumphed when she found out she couldn't understand them. She had always had a special bit of talent in the art of eves dropping. But with that power, came the distress she was doomed to carry. She would later speak of what she learned during eves dropping, thus exposing herself to the crime.

Unintentionally, of course.

~~~*~~~

"So where is this strange visitor we must bring to ada?" Elrohir questioned his brother, gracefully swinging his arm over the older elf's shoulder. Elladan stood firm with his arms folded and gestured to the stubborn girl on the path.

"Her?" Elrohir questioned again, following his brother's gaze. "She appears to be harmless enough."

"Do not be deceived brother. She can be meaner than Glorfy in battle. Though I'd quite like to see her with a blade. She's certainty passionate, speaking strange words I have never heard, yet I feel these words could cause great damage."

"I'm going to talk to her."

"Perhaps you will have better luck brother."

Confidently, Elrohir strode up to the young human female. Knowing Elladan, he had probably jumped on her right away. If she were lost and alone, an intense Elladan would surely set anybody off. She was now seated against the guard gate, looking off to the horizon. It almost appeared she was waiting…

"For who are you waiting for, my lady?"

"I'm not waiting, I'm-" she turned to face the voice, "oh it's you, never mind then. Nothing, I'm doing nothing."

Elrohir hid a smile and pictured his impatient brother handling this human girl. It almost made him laugh out loud. "My lady, I think there must be some mistake-"

"No mistake," she cut him off, "I said I'd go with you, not 'I'll talk to you.' There is a difference."

"There is no need for that."

"Oh yes there is." She retorted snidely, "I don't like you."

//You may be cute, but you're hella annoying.//

::Time to go in for the kill:: Elrohir thought to himself.

"You believe me to be Elladan, do you not?"

"You've changed your name now?" Sasha cocked an eyebrow. "I knew you were nutso before, but this just confirms it. Are you a schizoid?"

"A-a what?" Elrohir stuttered, quite taken aback by her tone, "Am I a what?"

She sighed. "Nothing, never mind. Alright, who are you now?"

"I am Elrohir of Imladris my lady." He gently kissed her hand and Sasha silently "Awed"

"I believe your…" He chose his words carefully, "unpleasant experience was with my brother. I hear you are to come home with us."

She nodded her affirmative. "Yep, are you going to give me a bath, tie a bow on me, stick flowers in my mouth, and let me run up to your parents?"

"I.. Uh, well, if it would please you." Valar this human was strange.

Sasha laughed for the first time since her arrival in this strange land. "No, it's what I did with a puppy I found when I was little. I wanted to keep it."

He visibly relaxed "Oh, so you think you are like a lost puppy? I get it now."

"Yeah, something like that."

The not yet comfortable, but somewhat friendly pair were interrupted by Elladan's voice asking if they were prepared for journey. He stood behind them holding three of the most gorgeous horses Sasha had ever seen.

Three gorgeous horses without saddles.

"He is an Elvish horse," Elladan reassured her, sensing her worry giving her a boost onto Elros' back. "I thought you'd like this," he whispered gently.

"Elros is a wonderful horse," Elrohir explained, "he will not let you fall."

"Good to know," she patted Elros' neck and adjusted her seating. "Giddy up!"


	6. Chapter 6

Sasha was glad for Elrohir's input. She knew her way around horses, but she was no Olympic champion. If there was any chance of falling on her ass for all the world to see, it would be her luck. She instinctively held onto Elros' mane and chewed the inside of her lip trying to think of something to say. She didn't want to speak and sound like a brainless, no-nothing twit.

"So how long is this ride?" //Oh brilliant. That's real intelligent.//

"Imladris is a ride six days from here."

//Oh wonderful.//

Sasha felt her cockiness fade with each passing moment. She never should have agreed to this. She was entirely out of her element and now these two were leading her through a forest to torture, rape, and possibly even kill her. She could only imagine the newspaper headlines.

The twins chattered amongst themselves in their gibberish while Sasha sat stiff as marble, lost in her own gruesome thoughts about her death. Eventually, she forgot there was a thousand pound wild animal under her butt.

"Can we start over?" Elladan asked, almost shyly as he rode up next to her. Sasha wondered if this was what the mumbo jumbo was all about and turned to question Elrohir with her eyes, but he merely looked away refusing to connect.

"For the good of the group and your peace of mind, fine. Er, yes, sure we can."

Relieved, Elladan smiled broadly. He hated tense moments, they just weren't him. Anyone else sure, but not Elladan. Sasha smiled too but tacked on another reason other than relief. She felt somewhat safer.

A bit.

Sort of.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked softly, "Why are you helping me?"

"Always respect the enemy."

"What enemy? Who are you talking about?"

Elrohir elbowed his brother in the gut and told her not to worry.

Damn it to hell, if Elros had reigns she would have hauled him to a stop and demanded answers. "Am I missing something?" she smiled at Elladan, hoping under the new found friendly status he would share what he knew.

"Sweet one, we cannot tell you, for we are under the strictest confidence. I am sorry."

Sasha was not convinced. She was torn between intrigue and doubt.

"Do you think I'm some enemy bastard?"

"No," Elrohir glanced at her sympathetically, "but do you not think it odd that a stranger from a distant land has appeared when the weapon of the enemy may have been found?"

Now it was Elladan's turned to elbow his brother. Elrohir stuck out his tongue and turned back to Sasha. "Of course, I did not just say that you realize."

Sasha laughed and crossed her heart. "Not a word. I'm in law enforcement, I hear confessions all the time."

//Who would I tell anyway?//

"Law enforcement, my lady?"

"Uh, let's see.. When someone has died, I come in, collect clues, talk to people, and try to figure out what happened."

"So you work for the good of your people?"

"Never thought of it like that, but I guess so. Yeah."

She noticed the twins exchange smiles.

"What now?"

"You're like a ranger," they said in unison. She wished she had a twin so they could both turn and go "Huh?!"

They lingered for a bit before explaining. She followed suit hopping off Elros and rubbing his nose. "Thanks for a good ride buddy, appreciate it."

Hoping to leave Elrohir with the work and glad the human was no longer shooting daggers at him, Elladan stood next to her and took it upon himself to explain the duties of a ranger.

"That is why we think that of you. Rangers live and breathe protection. They do what's best for others, always."

"But everyone I 'serve' is dead already. I didn't know them as living breathing people."

"You protect others before they reach the same fate."

She shrugged, "Well I try. Get the assholes off the street."

Elladan smiled, "that's very brave, Faelwen."

"Huh?"

"It's a name," Elrohir piped up, walking over to them. "An elvish name, means Justice."

"Oh. Is this a first name, or like a nickname?"

"Aye, first name. Well, this is home sweet home for tonight, I suggest you get some rest now."

"I don't want to sit," Sasha complained, "I've been sitting all day. I want to walk around, explore."

Instantly, Elladan was at her side, "Shall we?"

Sasha put her hands on his shoulders to keep him from practically flying away. "Easy there. I meant by myself, I need to think a bit."

"I'll be quiet." Elladan promised quickly

Elrohir snorted.

The older twin glared at his brother before relenting. "Please do not go far."

She saluted him mockingly before winking at Elrohir

"Yes daddy."


	7. Chapter 7

Sasha acknowledged the pair and slowly walked off. Her hands in her pockets and her green eyes wide, ready to take the scenery in. If not for the previous talk of an "enemy", and the reluctance to elaborate, she would have almost felt comforted and at peace with all this greenery.

Keyword, almost.

She continued on and momentarily stopped in front of a giant tree. She didn't know what it was. Hell, the only tree besides a palm tree she could ever identify was a Weeping Willow.. And that was only because her mom made up a song about one when she was a kid. No, this one was tall, and proud, and old. She wondered what trees would talk about if they could. All the stories they could tell.

She failed miserably at picturing the scene back home. In regular earth, she didn't know if she had been gone for five minutes, a half hour, or a year. Would she be dead? Would it be the year 2220? She may have failed this time, but she kept the thought in her head and promised she'd re-think it at a later date.

Like a dog, she circled around the tree looking for a place to sit down. One would think she'd had enough sitting down to last her a lifetime, but she felt stupid just standing with no place to go. She leaned back against the trunk and tilted her head so she stared sideways. Sure, she could go back to the elves but she decided against it .It was nice here; it was peaceful.

"Thought you'd be here," a calm voice broke into her silent peace.

"Holy shit, where'd you come from?" Her eyes jerked open and she leaned forward looking back and forth. "I could have sworn I was here by myself."

The twin smiled. "You were. For a bit at least. But you've been gone an awfully long time so I set out to find you."

"Mmm did you use the force?"

"The…what?"

Smiling a little, she shrugged it off. Somehow, it made her feel better when he didn't understand things she said. It made her feel as though she wasn't the only lost and confused one.

"So," she gestured to a spot next to her, "you don't want to sit down, do you?"

The twin tilted his head and stared at her, "Does that mean you do not wish for me to?' he asked gently, not wishing to provoke an outburst.

"No," she shook her head, "I was asking if you wanted to."

Happily, the elf plopped down next to her and briefly focused on the tree before turning to her, smiling bright.

"What?"

"They say they will gladly accept your help and your beauty is the one thing that puts all the stars to shame."

"Huh?"

"The trees."

"The trees said that?"

He nodded, defending his words.

"To you?"

"Yes, to me. Well all elves actually can communicate with trees; not just me."

If she had more energy, she would have laughed. Laughed hysterically. Laughed until the tears started running down her face and she couldn't breathe.

Instead, she spoke a question. It was these two words that locked her in, and wouldn't give her the key.

"What help?'


	8. Chapter 8

The elf bit his lip and stared at the ground. He had spoken too much.

Fully alert, Sasha was on crime guard and personal nosiness. She hated being left out of the loop; having big ears and sometimes an even bigger mouth. She pictured herself jumping this strange guy, er elf, and demanding answers, but settled on coolness and non chalant-ness.

"What can I do for you?" she questioned straightforwardly. So much for playing it cool.

"Nothing my lady. It was a mistake to speak of such."

"Dude, you brought it up yourself. Or the trees brought it up for you." She couldn't believe she said the latter with a straight face. The trees? Really? She still thought he sounded nuts. "To not continue would be rude, twin boy."

"Elladan," he corrected her smiling. "Now why would one so far from home, convinced we are a pile of "Schizoids," and must be as far away from you as possible want to hypothetically be of assistance?"

She sighed and stared back at their camp ground. "It's what I do."

"There is no reward, my lady."

"Who said anything about money? You- or someone needs some help, I can maybe offer this help, what kind of person would I be to say 'Screw you, you're on your own'?"

At the very beginning, she might have said just that, but she had accepted this dream and again, in a dream you can't die. Maybe at the end she would even get the key to the city from the Mayor for amazing services. Hey it was her dream, it could happen.

Maybe she could even fly!

"Screw you, my lady?" Elohir questioned hesitantly, approaching her tree and leaning on it one-handed.

Yay! Other twin-boy. Elness, Elmer, Elvis. E-something.

Sasha made the 'finish' motion with her hands. "Don't ask. I wouldn't even know where to start."

Both twins nodded.

"If we are finished with your exploring, my lady, I feel we should return to our camp."

Just to be annoying, Sasha loudly announced she was comfortable. Other twin boy El grabbed her hand and pulled her up anyway. She turned and made a face at Elladan who just smiled.

"What happened to not wanting to sit, my lady?"

"Am I not allowed to change my mind?"

"Touché"

//Damn right// she thought mentally. //Don't mess with me kid, er, elf.//

~~~*~~~

Amazed was the best she could describe the site in front of her. Although they were outdoors with no cabins in view, she was impressed. Elrohir had set up a blazing fire complete with what could have been sleeping bags. Hell, it could have been two blankets sewn together, but for men or elves of the male gender, she was impressed. It was a helluva lot more than she could do with a sewing machine.

"Which one's mine?"

"I thought it would be best if you were placed in the middle," he explained pointing. "You will be safe."

//I bet you did, big fella.//

Sasha neglected to speak up she was very capable of protecting herself. Although it would be harder without her gun and taser, she was up to the challenge.

Wordlessly, she plopped on the pile beneath her and looked up at the sky. She sure didn't have this in the city, and hadn't been camping since she was 13 years old in Girl Scouts… In cabins. She and her friend Jenny would role-play and act out movies they loved. Specifically, she remembered "Grease," and "While you Were Sleeping."

Elrohir positioned himself on his own pile and stared at the human, "Are you tired? I promise you are well protected."

"No," she murmured, keeping her focus on the starry sky. "I'm not. I'm a lot of things right now, but tired sure ain't one of them."

"Elrohir," Elladan spoke, cutting his brother off, "I will take first watch."

The other elf nodded, shrugging his brother off as he tried to think of something comforting.

//Elrohir! That's it! Elrohir Elrohir Elrohir!!//

Elladan started his patrol of their surroundings and Elrohir turned his attention back to their visitor. "Are you frightened?"

She smirked, and turned her head towards him.

"Yes, my lady?"

She winked. "But don't tell anyone."

Elrohir smiled, "I am beginning to figure you out, Lady Sasha."

Now her body was shutting down. "Mmm."

"You are not as tough and mean as you pretend to be."

"Again, don't tell anyone." She closed her eyes.

"You are gifted with a brave front, never ever lose it."

"Mmhmmm, good night daddy.. Love you too."

And she was out…


	9. Chapter 9

Elrohir watched the newly quiet human female for a quarter of an hour before deciding he was bored. As elves do not sleep as often as humans, when his party would stop for whatever reason, he would always have another to talk with.

Unable to lay any blame at Sasha's doorstep, he wished Elladan was nearby for some amusement.. Though he'd never ever admit it to his big brother. He removed his boots and looked around a few times before finally laying down and taking up her previous position as official star-watcher.

He wondered about her home, this "D.C." Where was it? What did it look like? How were the people? And would he ever see it?

He looked over at the girl, who had rolled over on her stomach with one arm above her head doubling as a pillow. Who was she? Not just Sasha, but *who* was she? It was at this moment that he realized he hardly knew this girl. Sure, she was young, and with age comes recklessness (she did wander off in Bree and dared to go into the Inn alone, after all.) She had a sharp tongue, a stubborn streak, and he feared would one day say something to the wrong person and land in a great deal of trouble.

"How much of it is just an act?" he wondered out loud to the flame, "what's she like when she's not feeling lost?"

"She is much nicer, I will tell you that brother," Elladan had spoken, plopping down beside his twin. "Though I would pay much to see her provoked in battle."

Elrohir looked towards his brother and picked up a twig, making designs in the dirt. "You know this?"

"Indeed. We had a talk during our sitting."

Elrohir was amazed. If they talked without arguing, that meant Elladan did not annoy her beyond her human capacity. Dare he say it, he was impressed.

"I was just thinking, brother-"

"So that would explain the beads of sweat!"

Elrohir rolled his eyes. Who was the older twin again?

"Anyway.. We know so little about her. What if we are taking a stone hard killer home to ada?"

Elladan thumped his brother upside the head with one of his arrows. "She does not know who we are, she does not know where she is. Yes, there is a real killer." He mocked sarcastically.

"Well, you never know."

"Who never knows?" a female voice asked groggily. "What happened? What's going on?"

Elladan glared at his brother, "nothing is wrong. Brotherly disagreement I'm afraid. I am sorry you heard it."

His words were lost on her, she was still half asleep. "Back so soon?" she mumbled. "Do I have to go now?"

Elladan left his brother and sat across from her. "No," he explained gently, "females do not serve on patrol."

Her body screamed Good! While her mind screamed sexist pig!

"I could do it." She stretched, trying to wake herself

He smiled, trying to offer a small comfort. "I would rather you didn't. Please."

"Yeah yeah yeah," she stretched some more, "you can't stand the thought of anything happening to me and all that jazz. I get it."

"You remember."

"Yup," she rolled her eyes, "Perfectly. Elrohir can I go?" she asked quickly, turning to the other elf, who looked startled at having been brought into the conversation. "Pleaseee."

This was ridiculous, she was 24 for God's sake. She came and went as she pleased and did what she felt like. This wasn't work. She wasn't restrained by rules. This was a dream, her dream damnit.

"Oh, well, I have to agree with Elladan on this one I'm afraid."

"Bah!" she huffed, pulling her knees up and laying her chin on them. "Who's side are you on?"

"Yours eternally, my lady. After this."

"Uh huh." She stuck her tongue out and looked back at the stars.

"As long as you are up, Lady Sasha.."

Elladan glanced at his brother. Surely he was not going to imply about her ability to harm.

"Hmm?"

"Will you give us the honor of telling us about yourself?"

"What do you want to know?"

The younger elf shrugged. "Information about you, your kin, your hopes, anything."

"That's my personal life, Elrohir." A-ha! She remembered his name. She smiled to herself in success.

"Which is none of your concern," Elladan backed up the human.

"I'm pretty boring, but ok.. If you really want to know. I'm Sasha Knauer  
, I was born on July 12th, 1985, I'm a Cancer. I like sports, dogs, and guns. I went to college in Nevada, studied abroad in Russia for six months-- had the time of my life and would love to go back. Umm…" She paused, racking her brain for more trivia.

"Wait," she paused, looking at the twins. "You don't understand anything I'm saying, do you?"

They shook their heads, "Not a word."

"Incredible," she whispered, "We're speaking the same language but you don't understand anything I'm saying… How can I do this then?"

"I am sure we will learn more about you as events come to pass," Elladan said cheerfully, giving her a quick hug. "Do not take this personally. My brother is surely as thick as they come."

Elrohir snorted and threw a pebble at his brother, "You did not understand her either!"

"Ah yes, but I was not the one who asked."

"As long as I've got *you* two up," Sasha began, standing to grab Elrohir's hand and drag him closer to her and Elladan's spots, "maybe you two can clear something up for me."

Elrohir nodded, getting comfortable. "Aye, if we can."

"Before we begin, I'm telling you right now.. Don't tell me 'nothing' or 'never mind,' or 'it doesn't concern you,' anything like that. I don't take too kindly to those kind of answers. Clear?"

The twins exchanged glances, and nodded.

"What in the name of God's green earth do I have to do here? Who do I have to help? Remember what I said…" She added quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

"Who needs help, my lady?" Elladan feigned dumb without missing a beat. He knew exactly and perfectly well what she meant.

"Who needs help?" Sasha repeated mockingly, "my butt needs a three hour massage after the work it's put in today. No, your elbowing fit earlier, and your tree talk… That stuff!"

"Does anything get past you, my lady?"

"Nope!" she crossed her arms triumphantly. "Well, sometimes. Then when I find out about it, I'm not very happy. So, let's nip this in the bud… What's going on?"

Elladan shrugged at his brother. What's the worst that could happen? If they kept both eyes on her at all times, it would be a difficult task alerting the enemy. Then again, if they did not keep her happy she could alert the enemy anyway and disaster would happen on swift wings.

"What do you know about Sauron the Deceiver and the One Ring?" It was Elrohir who spoke up.

"Ah yes," She countered. "My right hand man. Him and I go way, way back. In fact, we were engaged once." She scowled and threw up her hands, "nothing. All that means nothing to me. I told you I have no idea about anything here and I mean it."

Elladan ignored her outburst and picked up where his brother had left off. "Sauron had crafted Nine rings of power, given to selected individuals of each race. Three to the Elves, Seven to the Dwarves, and Nine to Men."

"Dwarves? You have dwarves here? Are they like Munchkins?"

Elrohir elbowed her.

"Anyway, that's more than nine." She corrected herself, trying to stay on topic.

"That is because men are weak. At least that is ada's claim."

"Who?"

"Our father. Anyway, may I continue?"

She nodded, and held her hand over her mouth to prevent anymore unnecessary outbursts.

"3,000 years ago, there was an epic battle to protect the freedom of Middle-earth, where you are now."

//Thanks!//

"Now," Elrohir was starting to get into the story, "Sauron forged one ring, a master ring to control all the others. During this fight, his hand was cut off and the ring passed to another."

"Ok-ay, so let me get this straight. This bad guy makes rings, gives them away, but keeps the main one for himself so they other groups will have to obey him?"

"Affirmative."

"So this Sauron's a bad guy?"

"That would be correct, my lady. Anyway, there is more."

"Go on."

"For many thousands of years, the ring was hidden and dormant. Passing through just two owners. But that is no more. Sauron is tied to this ring, and the ring is in tact. He has returned and he is seeking what's his."

"Which would spell the end of freedom as we know it."

"So what?" Sasha crossed her arms eying the elves. "You need someone with enough balls to beat the snot out of this guy or something?"

She was met with raised eyebrows.

"I mean, uh, you need someone willing to fight this person?"

"Well, not just *someone*, many someone's. This will not be an easy task."

"None of my work ever is," she sighed. "Alright. I'm in. Let's kick some ass and be done with it."

"My lady, females do not participate in such dangerous battle. It is improper."

"Be that as it may, El, but I am not from here so my lack of knowledge on your morals and whatnot can't be blamed on me. I don't know any better" she winked. "Besides, no one messes with freedom on my watch. Call it the American in me. So, where do we go?"

"You are going to gather your strength by laying down to rest. Now." Elladan commanded pushing her down my the shoulders.

"Alright, alright," Sasha grumbled, obeying his command. "But when I wake up -again- I'll think of more questions."


	11. Chapter 11

Rest, nap, Cat Nap... They all mean a quick snooze to regain energy. Left alone in peace without being awakened by modern-day electronics, Sasha fell into a deep sleep. Her hunger, the 'journey', and the news were all too much at once.

The twins, who had switched area patrol twice already took this opportunity to search their young charge. She didn't have a skin pack or even a protective covering for her weapons. All she had was a small, slim red box in her back pocket. Always the snooper, Elladan's eyes had instantly brightened as he wondered what could be inside. A bit more sensitive, Elrohir had tried in vain to remind his brother they were not in ada or even Glorfindel's quarters.

Blowing a raspberry at his younger brother, Elladan eyed the rectangular plastics, a family device by the name of "Police", and various papers with other humans on them.

"What are these things?" He hissed to Elrohir, who had taken residence in front of Sasha, should she wake up and be displeased at the invasion.

"I do not know brother, now put them back! Eru knows what she will do."

"Oh do not be such a worry wart, Elrohir. She will not do anything, she loves us."

Elrohir snorted. "She loves -me-" he stressed, "You made quite a bad first impression, am I right brother?"

"Dolle naa lost!" {Your head is empty}

"Auta miqula orqu" {Go kiss an orc}

"Umm, eat shit and die?"

Both elves turned to the girl and Sasha waved slightly. "I have no idea what you said, but I know an insult when I hear one."

"And you thought to share?"

"Cor-rect." She replied in a sing song voice. "But I don't really want you guys to eat shit and die. That's kinda mean" she laughed.

"Who's this?!" Elladan shoved a picture so close to her face she had to back up and grab it to focus. "Is it another human?"

"Where did you-- where did you get that?"

"In this" he beamed, holding his prize like a child with a new shiny penny. Elohir groaned and sent mental apologies.

Sasha's hand flew to her back pocket, "Ok um that's my wallet and I'd like it back please."

"What is a wallet?"

"Just.. can I have it now?" she reached for it. "And the picture too."

Elrohir grabbed the wallet from his brother's side and tossed it gently to her. Elladan rolled his eyes and surrendered the picture. "Fine, but I still want to know who it is." He pouted like a little elfling.

Sasha looked at the picture, "ahh who is it. So you want the grand tour, hmm?"

Surprisingly, Elrohir found himself nodding too. Just because he hadn't taken part in the petty crime didn't mean he wasn't nosy about this girl as well.

"Ok, well. These are my parents," she shuffled to the next picture. "This is my doggy Cowboy. He came to me with that name," she laughed. "He's an Australian Shepard. This is his best friend Knievel." Although she knew perfectly well they wouldn't understand the reference, she liked putting names to faces. Animals included.

"Are we good?" She eyed the twins, "are you lost yet?"

"Parents and animals, my lady. Go on."

"And this.. This is Chase." She paused at the last picture Elladan had begged to hear about. "He's uh, well he was my.. friend."

//They don't need to know more.//

"Was, arwenamin?" {My Lady}

Sasha rolled her eyes at the foreign word. More proof she wasn't awake yet. //Ahh, what the hell.// "He passed away. He was a cop in my precinct. Well stupid rules made it so we couldn't date so he transferred. Didn't bother him though, he hated where we were. So we dated, he was my world, had plans to marry but we didn't get that far. The end."

"So he... he sailed for Valinor?" Elladan was trying to piece together the concept of dying. The undying lands were the best he could come up with.

Sasha turned towards him, "um, I really have no idea what that means, but sure. Ok. That works."

"So you are not promised?"

Sasha smacked her lips together and shook her head. "No. I'm not."

"That explains why you are here alone."

Elrohir smacked his brother in the stomach. "Dina. Antolle ulula sulrim!" {Be quiet. Much Wind pours from your mouth.}

"Hey, whatever you said, it's ok. It was awhile ago and I'm fine, really."

"I would fade away and pass if my love were to be slain."

"Oh I wanted to. Don't think I didn't." //Still do.// "Anyway," she cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. "What are we doing now?"


	12. Chapter 12

"We," Elladan announced reaching down to help her up, "are going to continue on. Elrohir and I would be approaching our home by now."

Sasha looked at Elrohir for conformation, "gee guys. That really makes me feel good."

"He speaks the truth," Elrohir smiled, "we have not a great need for sleep as you do."

"Hey," she stiffened, trying to look angry. "You can never have too much sleep; no matter what anyone tells you."

"We shall keep that in mind," Elladan assured her, giving her a leg up on Elros' back.

"Oh hi again, I remember you horsie." Sasha smiled and patted his neck. "Mr. I don't like saddles. Though if I were a horse," she leaned down and whispered, "I don't think I'd like those bulky, heavy things bouncing up and down on my back either."

"None of them would," Elrohir smiled, "They have told us many times."

"You guys talk to horses too?"

"You sound un-sure"

"No, I should have known."

He missed the sarcasm.

"Are we ready?" Elladan asked, being the last to mount his horse. "Do you have all your belongings?"

"What belongings?" Sasha laughed, gesturing towards herself. All she had were the clothes on her back.

"Do not worry," Elladan looked sympathetically towards her, "You will be well taken care of when we return home."

"I'm taking a three hour bath, and don't yell at me if I use all the hot water."

"You can take as long as you please."

"Awesome," She gave them a thumbs up and moved up on Elros. "Let's rock and roll."

~~~*~~~

"I am never riding a horse again." Sasha pouted, slouching down. "I can't possibly tell you how much my butt has molded a crater on this poor guy's back."

"You cannot possibly need a rest, my Lady."

"No, I don't want one. I keep thinking about my nice hot bath. But I'm drawing the line when we get to wherever this place is."

"Imladris."

"Yeah. There."

"Edans!" Elladan whispered to his brother, who turned to hide his smile.

"If I only knew what you said, I'd punch you right in the nose." She muttered, sick of slouching and sat up as straight as she could, hoping the movement would un-crink her back. Instead, the uncomfortable motion ached, causing her to slouch back down reminding her of her school days, trying to hide from any eyes of her teachers.

"Are you bored?" Elladan smiled knowingly at her. Both he and Elrohir had made this journey many a time over the years and were never bored. For her sake, he supposed he could act sympathetic.

"Nope, this is the time of my life."

"You are, aren't you?"

Sasha nodded and smiled weakly. "Bored, lost, dirty, you name it."

"Lost?" Elladan repeated, "You are not lost. We found you."

//And bugged the hell out of me while you were at it..//

"Yes you did, but that's not what I mean. What I mean is, ugh, I don't even know. Yes I do," She retracted, "I know what I am, but not how I feel."

Elladan stared at her.

"I can tell you I'm dirty, hungry, tired, all that, but I can't feel anything deep, ya know? I don't feel a damn thing. Except sore. Oh hell, I don't even make sense don't listen to me," she laughed, raking her hands through her hair. "Don't pay attention to my babbling."

"Well, you can say do not pay attention, but obviously you do not know us well, because then you would not waste your breath."

"What he means," Elrohir started to explain plainly, "is you can say one thing, but we will turn around and do the exact opposite."

"Brilliant. If I were in my own element, we'd be great friends."

Edans- Humans


	13. Chapter 13

I have struck a deal with Tolkien's estate.. For a sum of money I will never have in my life, I have bought Elladan and Elrohir! Ok, well not really. I still own nothing.

As usual, this is for my own, and hopefully your enjoyment.

//blah blah blah// thoughts.

Enjoy!

-----------------------------------------

Sasha held no qualms about her thought. She, too, was known for doing the exact opposite of what she was told. As a teenager, it was plain rebellion but as she grew, it became she thought her ideas would work better. In law enforcement, she came across many situations where she had wanted to draw a line in the sand and say "No, I'm not doing that." Instead, she took the different approach and did as she felt. She was ruled by the heart; logic was almost non existent.

"So what else can I expect of you two?" she asked, leaning forward on Elros. "I mean I know you, but I don't know you. Enlighten me."

//Besides the fact you talk to trees, dress like Role players, don't know how to leave me alone, and have incredibly well trained horses.//

"We're twins," Elladan started.

"Yes, I got that part. What else?"

"What would you like to know?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "anything. Um, what are your parents like?"

"Stern!"

"Harsh!"

She switched eye contact to the elves who had slowed their horses to match her own. "Ah, is this your dad?"

Elrohir smiled, "how did you know?"

"Dunno, most dads are. So is mine. My mom's a push over though. I figure it has something to do with the whole 'Oh I gave birth to you' thing."

"What's a push.. over?"

"It means I could get away with anything I wanted. I remember I would do things, and I'd be expecting her as my mother, to beat the ever loving shit out me. She'd yell and get mad maybe, but five minutes later she'd want to be my friend again."

"Our mother is not quite a push..over. She is strict as well, but not like ada. She always blames our wild streak on his side."

Sasha's eyes widened. "I know! Isn't it amazing to think your parents all had lives before we came along?? I Mean once I was snooping through albums, and I saw my dad piloting a helicopter!" she babbled excitedly, glad she found some common ground. "Then when I was in eighth grade, I took a class with one of my girlfriends about getting to fly a plane with a real pilot, and he 100% put his foot down."

"Parents," Elladan laughed, even though he had no clue what she had just said. "They ruin everything."

"And advisors!" Elrohir chimed, thinking of all the time Erestor had gotten wind of their plans and promptly alerted Elrond.

"So do you have any other siblings, or just you two?"

"We have one sister, Arwen, and a little foster brother, Estel."

"You will get to meet them soon."

"Sounds like a full house, can't wait. Wait," she realized suddenly. She was sure the twins didn't randomly appear in that city to take her home. "Do your parents know I'm coming? They won't kick me out or anything, will they?"

"Nonsense," Elrohir assured her, "ada would never turn anyone in need of help away, much less a girl."

//Well, that's good!// "And your mother?"

"My mother no longer keeps place at home."

"Crap, are they divorced?"

"Um.. No?"

"Separated?"

"You could say that."

"Our mother has set off to the Hall of Mandos, in the realm of the Valar."

"Huh?"

Elladan swallowed before continuing, claiming since he was oldest, the story would be his to tell. Elrohir, grateful for the chance to stay silent, looked on. "Many years ago, my mother was traveling over the Misty Mountains to her mother's realm, Lothlorien. She was caught and tortured by orcs, leaving her so emotionally scarred. Elrohir and I were able to rescue her, and ada was able to heal her wounds, but she could no longer find joy in life and was so troubled by her fear and memories, she found it necessary to leave."

A thousand thoughts swam through Sasha's mind. What bastards, That's wrong, why didn't anyone alert this "ranger" she had heard about. She felt shock, sympathy, and sick.

"Wow guys... I um, wasn't expecting to hear this! I'm sorry.. God I wish I knew what else to say." She choked out. She didn't know what orcs were, but she got the feeling meeting one wasn't something she would wish on her very worst enemy.

"It was a great many years ago, and we have honored her memory in the best way we possibly can."

"Good." She rubbed their arms, "Sometimes, that's all you can do.."


	14. Chapter 14

After Elladan's recollection of their family history, the chatter had come to an end. No one, Sasha especially, knew what to say.

"I remember on my first autopsy" Dr. Sheridan, her ethics teacher started telling her class, "One guy said to me think of it as a piece of meat. Don't look at the face, because once you do, it puts a human being there. That's part of someone's family.." She remembered someone had asked the question of he ever got "hardened" to sad things.

She hadn't realied how deep in thought she was until Elrohir elbowed her. "What, I'm here." She defended herself, shaking out of her day dream.

"Are you alright? You are very strangely quiet."

She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face, and tried to make her smile look authentic. "Fine, just thinking."

"What about, my lady?"

She eyed him, but didn't press the issue. She'd never win. "Um, no.. Not the right time. I'll ask someone else."

"There are only the two of us here," Elladan looked gently upon here. "You do not have a choice."

"Yes I do, when we get to.. wherever," she wasn't about to try and pronounce it, "I'll find someone."

"But until then, you are at our mercy and we will do whatever needs done to find out what is on your mind." Elrohir smiled.

"Ugh ok. Fine, you win... But you don't play fair."

"Of course not" Elladan laughed, "Why do you think we always win? We have been doing this for many years."

Sasha ignored the somewhat creepy end to that sentence and just got right to it. "What's an orc?"

"The foulest, loathsome, most disgusting creatures you can imagine."

Sasha wanted to say she could imagine quite a lot, but decided against it. "Um, what do they do?"

"My lady,"

She didn't bother to flinch.

-"Were you not listening? They take great pride and pleasure out of torturing the innocent, there are many, they can cover great distance."

"Who in their right mind would want to join with these people?"  
"Not 'people' Elladan corrected her, by Valar not people."

"They were actually elves once" Elrohir put in, as his twin elbowed him in the stomach for his bad timing.

"Well done, Elrohir."

"No, it's fine" Sasha tried to ease a possible fight and tried to stand up the best she could- not easy on a horse. "Hey, when do you think we can take a break? My butt hurts."

//Oh god, me and my big mouth.//

"Are you in need of a rest?"

Determined to not let that golden chance slip by, Sasha jumped down from her horse and patted his side. "Yes I am. I just want to walk a bit."

She nodded to the brothers who had also dismounted their horses and set them free. "Um, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Peace, they will come back. Go on, release yours too."

She moved to Elros and stood in front of him, looking into his eyes. "Go on horsie, git!"

Nothing.

"Giddy up?"

He stayed put.

"Alright, what am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing, not a thing" Elladan laughed, enjoying her show.

"You know, if I could I'd poke you with a stick."

"Say 'Drego'" Elrohir whispered to her, trying to save her embarrassment. Though, he wouldn't have minded seeing Elladan poked by this human.

"Um, Drego?"

"No, no. Not as a question."

"Drego."

On his release, Elros galloped further into the field, his mane flapping in the wind. "Wow," Sasha was impressed. "I guess he didn't need a break, did he? What did I say anyway?"

"You told him to flee."

"Oh what a nice horse master, er mistress I am."

Elrohir smiled, "He will not take it wrongly. He is quite happy grazing."

"Guess I would be too, see you soon." She called over her shoulder, attempting to finally take her walk. But, as it appeared, she was not to be alone. Elladan trotted over to her and took up place at her side.

"Can I help you?"

"I am your escort"

"Oh God, not this again. I'm telling you, I'll be fine."

Elladan grabbed her hand and led her away from his brother, who was scanning the horizon. "If you want to learn about orcs," he whispered. "You'll let me come."

"Ah, so that's the trade off? I have to let you come?"

"Yes."

"Ugh fine. Elrohir, we're going for a walk."

He nodded, "Don't go far."

Sasha rolled her eyes, and was instantly hit with a pang of guilt. //He thinks something will happen to me!//

Chapter End Notes:

Yep, true story. Just changed my teacher's name ha ha. You never know.


	15. Chapter 15

Hi everyone :) Thanks for sticking by me in this story. It's the first one I've ever written dealing with Elladan and Elrohir( I feel bad saying "the Twins" lol) I'm having fun, and I hope you're having fun also.

I'm trying my hardest to not make Sasha a Mary Sue, and as always, I welcome your thoughts, comments, concerns, any of that.

I'm also thinking, when the trio gets to Imladris, should I do a casting call type deal? Does that appeal to anyone?

Thanks, and enjoy the story!

-----------------------------------------

"Now," Elladan perched over her, sizing her up as a worthy student. "You want to learn about orcs, do you?"

She stood up straight, matching his posture but completely lacking in the height. "Yes, I do."

"Do you know what I first thought of you, all seething and tough the very first time?" he asked, offering her his arm.

//Wow, people do that here? What world was I living in?// "Hmm?"

He smiled, "I asked if you knew what I thought of you our first meeting."

"Oh.. You thought 'Wow! She's a loser.' "

He arched an eyebrow, "A.. a what?"

"Um, simpleton?" She tried, was that the best she could do?

"Ah, yes," he understood; she hoped. "But I thought nothing of the sort. You're strong. So strong, and so brave. That's what you need, complete concentration and passion. Although I would not wish to see it, nor do I wish you to ever be in such a position, I feel you would do very well defending yourself."

//You're darn tootin' buddy!//

"Wow, Elladan. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.. You.. you think I'd be good?"

"You suddenly care what I think?" he teased gently, trying to come back into "himself" after baring his soul.

"No!" She scoffed. "Well, maybe. A little bit."

Elladan smiled triumphantly, as Sasha said she hated him.

"Elladan!"

Elladan's head jerked to alert. "Stay here." He told her, circling behind back to Elrohir.

"What the? No I'm not staying here."

"Stay." Elladan put his hands on her shoulders and held her in place. "Just until I see what is going on."

"Fine," Sasha grumbled, not appreciating being treated like a little kid, or some weak female.

He patted her shoulder and dashed off to Elrohir, leaving Sasha to lean against a tree trying to eavesdrop.

"This better be important Elrohir..."  
"Lasto, Tiro!" Elrohir commanded his older brother, pointing against the horizon. (Listen, Look!)

Elladan followed his brother's gaze and cursed out loud upon seeing the band of horrid beasts running eastward across the plain.

"Hiril Sasha! Tolo hi!" (Lady Sasha, come here)

Confused as hell, Sasha heard her name and flew closer, her arms spread apart. "I don't know what the hell is going on, but I really think you should clue me in."

"Can you climb my lady?"

"I can climb a wall."

"No wall, tree. Now." Elrohir pointed.

Sasha turned towards Elladan and her face all but demanded an explanation.

"You wanted orc experience," He draped his arm over her shoulders, as Elohir seethed his swords, ready for Elladan to take. "You got it."

"Only she is not going to experience them, she is going to stay safe in a tree." Elrohir pushed his brother's arm off her and guided her away.

"No! Screw this, you can't handle all them by yourselves!" In truth, she hadn't seen a damn thing, but she remembered Elladan's lesson they are a large group.

"Our odds have been worse, my lady. Now go!" Elrohir turned from demanding to almost pleading. "You will not be harmed with us, I promise."

"Oh hell, I'm not worried about getting hurt. I'm worried about... well I'm just worried. I can't let you guys do this alone, I'm not cripple. Let me help!"

"Next time," Elladan promised, giving her a leg up into a tree. "Next time you can take on the whole pack."

"Yeah, yeah. You say that now."

She sat in a branch and held on. She still couldn't see that well, she just saw a form of black mess. She did, however, pick up on footsteps.

Alright, they may have won this time. But she made a solemn promise to herself that if things got bad, she wouldn't hesitate to jump in.


	16. Chapter 16

Aware she had no choice but to sit tight, Sasha began tearing apart a leaf as she moped in the tree. //Damn elves, damn place, damn orcs, damn dream// She wasn't a super star fighter, she knew that. But she had made it this far in her life still standing perfectly straight. She admitted she never held a bow in her life, after seeing Elladan's, and swords... Well.. You just thrash the damn thing around until you hit someone? She was pretty strong..

She knew there were rules in war, but didn't think they made much sense. When you're trying to survive, who gives a damn about following rules? It's fight or die, and everybody knows it.

"How are you up there?" Elladan called out to her, keeping his eyes straight.

"Plotting my revenge."

"I am sure."

"I won't forget this, you know."

"I am sure of that too. Now be silent."

"Psh, you started it... Oh hell my aunt Mary."

The monstrous beasts she was so curious about had come into view. These were elves? Impossible. They looked like rotting zombies and she could swear the smell must have been similar. Maybe they were the predecessor?

She perched closer to the edge of the branch to get a closer look. They didn't come in charging, as she had expected.

"Where's the girl?" One of them, a leader maybe asked, no rather snarled.

"That is none of your concern, what is your purpose here?"

Sasha wasn't sure who had spoken, she was too busy trying to keep her cockiness and brashness up. One look at those things and it was all gone.

" I already told you, you maggot. I'm here for the girl, now where is she?"

"What" Elrohir tilted his sword up, "do you want with her?"

"We heard of the new arrival, she will make a perfect bride for us.. Her attitude just needs a little adjusting" one of them grinned, showing black and rotted teeth.

//Oh hell to the no! He did not just say that!//

"You will not find her here. Be gone, and never return."

"Yes?" he swaggered up to the elves, "Who's going to make me?"

Elrohir lifted his sword and decapitated the beast in one swift move. "I am."

//Wow, that was pretty nice! He'd be a good baseball player.//

She didn't have time to swoon he had defended her honor. As soon as their leader hit the ground, the orcs were in full swing. Sasha watched in horror as swords clanked and arrows pierced flesh. She tried her hardest to watch Elladan and Elrohir, but they were either too fast, or too many orcs and they got lost in the shuffle. Sasha stayed busy tearing what she could off the tree to throw down on the monsters; with all that was happening down there, she doubted anyone would call her out.

She figured it probably wasn't helping much anyway, but at least she wasn't sitting there twiddling her thumbs. When she saw one of the twins take a hit, a gash on the arm, she decided enough was enough. With the extra creepy leader dead, she felt safe enough to get involved. She quietly shimmied down the tree, only pausing to hiss at a scrape she managed to give herself. She picked up a tossed aside sword, probably one of theirs as she noted the brown goop. That wasn't important now, she didn't care what it was. Her friends were in trouble and they needed her.

She took a deep breath and turned around, hopefully menacingly and started thrashing the sword around like a baseball bat. She didn't care about being merciful, she didn't care where she made contact; just as long as they fell.

To her relief, the pack was getting smaller, but it was still not over. In an instant, she saw one of the twins- again not sure whom, stumble. The orc, looked like a little boy getting to ride on a firetruck. She saw major pain on one of the E's faces and snapped.

"Get away from him you stinking carcass!" She yelped, trying to cut his body in half before he could do anything more. "You won't get him, you won't get him, you won't get him.." She kept repeating, continuing to mutilate his body with her sword.

"Sasha!"

No response.

"Sasha!"

"Hmm?" She stopped and looked around. She turned to see Elrohir holding an orc down with his foot. He pointed, "once more."

She understood immediately and launched a battle cry to rival Xena and she slammed the sword into the beast's chest. Instantly, the spell was broken and she pointed the sword down in the dirt and used it to help her sink to the floor.

"Sasha.." Elladan tried to smile through his pain as he dragged himself over to her and picked up her hand for contact. "How did I know?"

She looked at Elrohir who had come to sit by his brother, she looked at Elladan, then looked at his hand. "Oh shut up, you're hurt. You shouldn't be talking."

"Good to see you're worried." He groaned slightly. "I knew you were coming."

She pushed back his hair, "oh yeah? How's that?"

"Elven hearing. You were not very quiet coming out of that tree."

Elrohir looked at her, and she felt herself shrink under his gaze. "I'm sorry," she tried to apologize, "it really didn't look good, you were out numbered, you got hurt," he nodded towards Elladan, "and they wanted me for god knows what. I had to do somethinggg."

"So you decided to jump right in? Was that the best you could come up with?"

She nodded, "yeah."

"Brave," Elrohir commented, trying to help his brother up. "But stupid. You could have been killed."

"Like you couldn't have!" She was appalled. She knew damn well she could have been killed, or worse, but they needed help. Were males, er, elves macho like this here? "Look, I'm sorry if I destroyed your ego, but I'm not sorry for helping you. I'm uh.. I'm going to go find the horses now" She covered, desperate to get out of there.

"They will not be far, a half a mile or so to the west."

Now she was not good at that. IF you used directions, it had to be "left", "Right", "backwards", or "forwards."

"And which was is that?"

Elladan pointed and she huffed, following his finger. She turned back slightly to give him an apologetic look, then turned away.


	17. Chapter 17

Stunned wasn't a word experienced by one, Sasha, very often. Shock, surprised, sometimes even shame, but not stunned. Dear God, what has she *really* done? She had helped them out; returned the favor. Yes, strange as it all sounds and as machoist as their thinking was, she was no longer alone and lost.

//Yes// she admitted, it might have been reckless, but that's who she was. There are some things she'll never learn, no matter how many warnings from any God she got. Although it landed her in rough waters more than calm lakes, she was still alive. //Well, in this world anyway…//

She felt mighty proud of herself for escaping that escapade with no serious wounds. The evil voice inside told her don't feel too proud, you didn't face that many, but she was on battle high. Screw evil voices. Why couldn't they just be proud of her for being alive?

She didn't want to find the horses; she didn't want to return for another tongue lashing. However, Elladan looked like he'd die at any second and she really didn't want that on her conscience. So, she sucked it up and tried to focus on doing what she planned.

"Ok, horsie. Where are you?"

"Horsie" Ok, she was losing it. This horse couldn't understand her. It sounded almost as silly as talking to trees.

Or did it?

She had a girlfriend in high school that was into hugging trees and being in touch with the world that Sasha had rolled her eyes about. But, they took each other how they were. Cursing silently for not paying better attention when Elladan was rambling about the horse, she sat down closing her eyes.

//If this works, I promise I won't complain about having to put out two garbage cans every week..//

She took a deep breath and tried her hardest to reach out and call the nice horsie who had put up with her all these days. How many times should she ask? How long should she focus?

She flopped on her back into the grass, hoping Elladan was holding his own. No telling how long this would take.

"As I suspected… you are not well."

She scrambled up, leaning up on her arms ready with a comeback, but the voice did not match the face of anyone she knew.

"I'm fine." She said shortly, wondering what this one's game was. He looked like another role player, only with blond hair. Beautiful blond hair she noted.

"Then why are you laying in the middle of a field, especially after an orc battle?"

"I was… well never mind what I was doing. That doesn't concern you." Cue panic button. Who was this guy? Did he send those monsters? What did he want with her?

She stood up slowly and glared at him, "who the hell are you?"

"You may call me Glorfindel, of Imladris."

"And that means what to me?"

He smirked, "Elladan said you would be difficult. It means once you arrive, we will be seeing more of each other."

Sasha made quite sure she told him she'd rather kiss a dead moose's butt. "Now if you don't mind…" she turned to leave.

"As you wish, Lady Sasha."

She didn't' care he'd called her that. She didn't care he'd scared her before, she only cared she was alone with him. Elladan probably couldn't protect her, and Elrohir, she pictured, would say "you can handle it." From the stink she made with fighting the orcs. "Yes and here's another of my wishes. You stay away from me until I can figure out what your angle is."

She turned on her heels, and slammed into Elrohir. "Oh noo," she whined, "not another one. I don't like this dream anymore."

"Having trouble, Glorfy?"

The balrog slayer smirked, "No," he replied, knowing it would push her buttons, "she's harmless."

True to his guess, she bristled and narrowed her eyes at him.

"I need to speak with you," Elrohir finally acknowledged her. "Now please."

"Why? Did you not say all you wanted to before? No thank you. I pass."

"Shall we send her to Haldir?" Glorfindel asked, amused by this girl. "He'd teach her some lessons."

"Ok, one you jerk, I'm still here. Two, leave me alone. The both of you. In fact, here, I'll make it easy." She huffed and walked off, not caring what else they said.

//By the way, universe, I'm not going to shut up about it.//


	18. Chapter 18

Well, after my computer decided to be evil the other day, I completely had to re-think this. I'm not entirely thrilled wih it (I think my other one was better.) But if you all like it, I won't complain :) Enjoy!

-----------------------------------------

15 minutes later, Sasha arrived grumpily at their rest spot. She kicked at the few fallen leaves and and sighed. That dumb brute had mentioned Elladan by name, so she doubted he had died and they had buried him somewhere. If that was the case, Elrohir was a pro at hiding his emotions.

She found him leaning up against her tree, and though she found him annoying at times, was grateful his life had been spared.

"I never thought I'd say this," she grumbled, plopping down next to him in the dirt, "but I'm glad to see you."

"Yes, I'm fine. How are you?" He smiled, just wanting to give her a hard time.

"Ugh, I'm sorry. Ok, how are you?"

"Better than before. Elrohir is an excellent healer."

Sasha fought rolling her eyes. Why not? She'd believe it. Seems like there wasn't anything they couldn't do. Too bad the only thing he could do to her right now was put her in a piss poor mood.

"Wow, that fast? Good. I'm glad for you, really."

Elladan shrugged,making sure to stare directly into her eyes. "It is not myself I am concerned about."

"Hmm?" She looked down. She didn't like being stared at like that. It made her feel as though he was trying to get into her mind, and the last thing she wanted was anyone visiting. "Oh, that." She groaned, "yeah the both of them can just shove it. How'd you hear that anyway?" She rambled on.

"The wonder of elven hearing. Do not say anything you do not want heard."

"Now that sounds like a cheap fortune cookie."

"A- a what?" He should have been used to these strange terms that managed to come out of her mouth, but try as he might, it was a hard thing to let pass.

"Never mind. Anyway, that piece of advice is a little late... Don't you think?"

He laughed, "yes, maybe a little. But just keep it for future reference. Now come here," he patted a spot closer, "I would like to talk to you."

//Great.// She thought, // here it comes again.//

Silently she moved closer and waited. She knew it would be hard, but if she didn't say anything or argue back, hopefully it wouldn't take too long. She looked up at him and waited.

"So, why did you become involved?" he asked gently.

//Ugh// "It looked bad, there were a lot of them, you got hurt, and I'm not helpless. If I would have just sat there, I would have felt weak."

She mentioned nothing about worrying for him.

"I see. Well my lady, although I will not be as harsh as Elrohir, it was very brave, but not the smartest thing you could have done."

"Ok, I think I should go." She started to stand. "Maybe we all need to calm down."

"No you cannot leave me."

"Why not?

"I am injured."

"You look fine to me," she smirked. "What happened to you're feeling better?"

"Aye, though I said better, not healed. Come, let's talk. Stay here."

"You're milking this being hurt for all it's worth, aren't you?"

"Absolutely not," he denied, but there was a smile in his eyes. "Now, what I wanted to tell you is, well, Lle ume quel."

"Huhh?" She tilted her head, "what's that?"

"It means you did well."

Sasha's eyes widened into big green saucers. She hadn't expected this, she expected a tongue lashing like she's never had in her life.

"But," he continued, " Lle wethrine amin."

"Yep, here comes the big but. What's that mean?"

"It means you deceived me. I believed you to be safe and hidden. I think I understand why you chose to revel yourself, but please understand we are to protect you."

"I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on that. I don't think either one of us are going to back down anytime soon."

Elladan looked confused.

"It means, you protect me and I'll protect you. How's that?"

"I fear I have no option."

"No, not really. But don't worry, I'm good at protecting, you'll see."

"Lle aratoamin"  
"Wow Elladan," she sighed, "if we're going to be having these little chats, you've got to use words I can understand"

"He called you his champion," A voice spoke from behind, "perhaps now that you are here you should take to learning elvish, should you not?"

"Oh, no.. Not you again." She didn't want to turn around and see him, but she did, however, want to take one more look at that beautiful hair. He had gorgeous hair, hair that anyone would kill for, why was he such a grump?

"You know," she turned around, startled to see the two elves had returned with the horses, "before you got here things were just fine. We were ok. But you, you just bring out the absolute worst in everybody."

She stood up next to Glorfindel, although she was no match for his height. Elladan bit his lip to keep from laughing. Nobody back home would ever believe this. Elrohir sat and focused on his brother.

"Child, are you always like this or do I bring it out in you?"

"I hate you, that's why."

Glorfindel put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. Now, she felt as lost and alone as the first moment she arrived- and unwillingly at that.

"Hey, Glorfy, tell her about the balrog. She'll like that." Elladan tried to help the other elf out.

She looked at Elladan, shooting daggers. Couldn't he tell she didn't want anything to do with Blondie over there? But, he had peaked her curiosity. "What's a balog?" she asked finally. Her pride kicking her in the ass.

"Much wrose than 10,000 orcs" Elladan beamed, the man in him ready for an action story. He tried to sit up, only to have Elrohir push him back down.

"Tira ten' washwe."

She pffed the strange language and shyly turned back to Glorfindel. "Will you tell me?"

He pulled out his sword and studied it, turning it over in his hands. "Should I?"

She shrugged, knowing his game. "If you want, I just thought you'd want a chance to tell the story to a new pair of ears."

She did remember a little bit of what Elladan spoke to her of in Bree. She had recognized "Glorfy"

"Well played, young one. That is very clever of you. Yes, I shall tell you. Esta sinome." He patted her original spot next to Elladan.

"English please."  
"You mean Westron."

"No, I'm pretty sure I mean English. Anyway, whatever. What did you say?"

"I said rest here."

"Ok, ok, fine" she grumbled, sitting in between the twins and started staring at Elladan's less hurt leg for a pillow. No way she was going near Elrohir right now.

Eager as schoolboys, both twins were pink with adventure. "kwentra lye i'narm."

"And this coming from elves who have heard this story quite a few times. You are quite eager."

"Can we cut the chatter and listen?' Sasha broke in, finally lounging on Elladan and cocooned herself in a blanket. "I want to hear a story."


	19. Chapter 19

Glorfindel settled into a spot in front of his audience. Elrohir kept his hand on his brother's shoulder, using every bit of time to send healing practice. Elladan played with Sasha's hair, while Sasha watched every move the balrog slayer made and wished they had a fire.

"First child, do you know what a balrog is?"

She wanted to say something smart, but decided not to. She knew he was trying, and if nothing except for good manners, she could try to. Even if he did set himself up. She shook her head no. She'd never even heard of it. "Is it safe to assume it's something evil?"

"Very much so. Now, pay attention. For you cannot understand the rest of the story until you know it's evil."

"Sounds like he's been spending too much time with Erestor." Elladan whispered to his twin, who couldn't control his laughter.

Glorfindel shot his eyes towards them, and they ceased all conversation. Sasha picked up her head and looked from elf to elf.

//Wow, for him to command them to listen... that's pretty impressive.//

"-Is a demonic creature.."

//Aw hell, not paying attention already. Ok, focus!//

"That are very tall, almost double the size of a human, very menacing, and very dangerous. It is quite easy for these creatures to surround themselves in fire and shadow."

Well, they sounded scary, but she supposed with the right story teller, even Alice in Wonderland could creep people out. She fought calling him out on this.

"Do you understand?"

"Creepy looking guys all dark who could probably break your neck in one sitting, got it."

"They appear with one or both weapons. A long whip with many, many thongs, or a extremely long sword."

"Geez, and I used to cry like a baby when I'd get belted. One time, I actually stuffed a towel down my pants."

"Pardon me?"

Now at home, someone would have understood that. "Never mind."

"During the first age of our world, they were among Morgoth's most feared forces."

"What's Morgoth?"

"One who has turned to darkness, the one responsible for all the evil in Middle Earth."

//Well, shit.//

"Ok, go ahead.. So how did you find these things?"

"I am getting to that, may I continue?"

She nodded

"Alright. On an attack of the city Ecthelion of the Fountain, Gothmeg and I fought our battle-"

"And he is a balrog," Elladan clarified for her.

She patted his knee, "Thanks."

"We fought for the defense of the city, but it was not enough. The survivors and myself passed through the Encircling Mountains, only to be ambushed. We dueled to the end.. I was killed and buried under a mound of stones. "

"Whoa, back up!" Sasha's tiny bell of logic was ringing. "You died?!"

"And what am I doing here, right?"

"Yes!"

Glorfindel smiled, "I was sent back to Middle Earth by the Valar in the second age in the year 1600. Around the time Sauron forged the One Ring."

"So... You fought this thing, died, came back for whatever reason, and now you're here telling this story?"

"He is a legend!" Elrohir exclaimed, "Ada has books with balrogs. See one, and you will understand"

"I hope I do, I want to see one."

"Yes, just like you wanted to see an orc?" Glorfindel questioned.

"Hey, this doesn't mean I like you better or anything, but that is pretty cool.. Er, impressive."

Glorfindel bowed his head, "I am pleased you think so."

"So when can I see one?"

"When we return, I promise to show you." Elladan swore to her, placing his hand over his heart.

"Yeah I'm a bit of a nerd. I have to see everything, and I have to try everything."

"Oh I know," Elrohir vouched for her, "believe me, I know."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "So, are we going soon?"

Elladan looked at his brother for conformation.

"I would feel better if we waited. Perhaps an hour must pass."

"But I'm-"

Elrohir looked at her.

"An hour it is... So, where do I find food?"

Elladan pointed to his horse. "In one of the bags, there is lembas bread. Help yourself."

She laughed, "I wanted to kill time, not walk right over to a horse and pick up something!"


	20. Chapter 20

As Always, I don't own any names you've seen in other stories. I don't own places, I don't own bodies. Please, don't sue!

XXX

Take note, my dear readers. When it comes to the grand battle between elves and humans, especially human girls for the substance known as "true" food, you will not win.

"I've wanted to kill dinner ever since I arrived", Sasha announced to her elven followers. "It's just something I'd never have a chance to do back home."

Elladan tossed her an arrow. Sasha turned it over in her hands, looking at it carefully. "Yeah," She admitted tersely, "I don't know how to use this. Nobody does back home unless you're some actor."

Glorfindel smirked, "Then how, child, would you possibly attempt to hunt down a meal?"

//Throw you in my ditch and wait for the animals to come, that's how//

"I don't know, I'll get back to you. Can we leave now?" She swung herself on Elros and grinned proudly over the fact it was somewhat graceful and she didn't go flying over the other side.

"Looks like you made our decision for us," Elrohir grinned, mounting his own horse. "Shall we?"

She had a side comment; she always did. It seems these elves just set themselves up time after time. She wondered how far she could push them before they just decided to abandon her and her snarkiness.

She sat deep in thought the entire way. Which by her estimation, a mere few hours. Hell, she'd driven to cases longer than this. Sasha continued to make mince meat out of what was at one point her lip, and didn't notice a thing until Elrohir poked her.

And poked her again.

"Hmm, what?" She grunted, snapping back to attention, a little annoyed at having her peace interrupted. She wasn't any closer to figuring out answers her deep longing questions, but she appreciated the time to think.

"Home," Elrohir pointed excitedly, "Look."

She had no choice but to. Trees, grass, and every size bush you could think of, each in full bloom with dozens of flowers. There was more green then she'd ever seen in her entire life, and more green than she would probably ever see again. If this were her home, she could love it like these three as well.

"It's.." She tried

"I've never..." Failed again

"Wow," she smiled broadly, "It's like a screen-saver!"

"Impressed?" Elladan smiled

//Hell to the yeah!!// "Very much so, this is gorgeous!"

"Indeed, child. Welcome to Imladris, home of the Firstborn."

Sasha was about to say she _wasn't_ the first-born and she had no idea what Glorfy was talking about, but decided against it. She was in paradise. She sat still and looked around slowly, apologetically shrugging at other elves who looked at her strangely.

"Now," Glorfy continued, taking her off Elros before she could do it herself. "You have been through quite an ordeal," he quited her look with a stare. "Perhaps you should be properly examined."

"No, I really don't think..." She started, she _hated _doctors with a passion. She'd sooner lay around on the couch and whine. It would save on the stress, and save on her pocketbook. "Anyway," she turned to Elladan, "Where's the one who can help me?"

He shook his head. "Healers first. Ada after."

"Ugh, noo, I don't want to go." She thought about sitting on the ground in protest.

"It is for your own good."

"I know what's for my own good, and I'm fine. Trust me. Something goes wrong, and I'm the first one who'll know about it."

"Go." Glorfindel pointed, "End of discussion."

"Go _where?"_ she groaned, exasperated. She had no money, no help, and she was sick of not being listened to.

"I'll take her," Elladan offered, coming to her rescue slightly. Elladan was the weak link in the "Annoy Sasha" chain, maybe she could talk her way out of it with him.

Glorfy nodded, sending his approval for their departure. Just for the hell of it, Sasha sent him one last puppy dog glance as Elladan led her off.

"I still want my three hour bath, twin boys" She smirked at them, "And I'm still using all the hot water."


	21. Chapter 21

Sasha was quickly learning she had no power here. If the elves wanted her to get looked at, she was going to get looked at, no matter how much she hemmed and hawed like a school-girl. She chewed her lip and tried to ignore the stares as Elladan chatted along happily, pointing out key locations and telling stories about them. So far, she'd learned the spot his sister received her first kiss, his favorite spot for ditching his lessons, and the best pitch of dirt for sword practice. She'd made the appropriate noises and facial expressions, but his words went right over her. What if no one could help her? What if all this about his father was pure crap? For the first real time since she'd arrived in this dream, she didn't feel like she was in any threat of danger, but God, why hadn't she woken up yet? Aren't you supposed to wake up in the peak of your fear? That moment had come and gone.

"... May be difficult," Elladan buzzed in her ear. "Ready?"

"Hmm, ready for what?"

He laughed. "Back from your mental retreat?"

"Just for you, scooter."

He gave her a confused look, but said nothing. "I was saying, this next part may be difficult. Can you climb?"

"Of course I can," she bragged. "Wait, climb what? A tree, a wall, what?" Luckily, she could do both.

He pointed to a structure that looked like a damn good tree house. Like someone's dad had taken all the time in the world to construct.

"Haven't climbed a tree in years," She admitted, grabbing onto a low branch and steadying one foot on it. "But I think I can handle it."

In a flash, Elladan was behind her. "Please, let me carry you."

"No it's ok, I got it. Trust me, this whole thing sucks enough already." Translation: Back Off.

"Please, if something did happen, I would be in serious trouble with Ada." Translation: I'm doing it whether you like it or not.

She sighed and gave in. She knew what it was like to get it trouble for something someone else did, and she knew it wasn't fun. Still though, she knew she was guest and she slightly wondered why she wasn't being listened to. Then again, he never listened to her. Not from the first second.

"Alright, what do you want me to do?"

He scooped her up and grabbed a branch. "Nothing. Just sit there and don't look down."

"I'm fine with heights, you know."

"So I figured," Elladan offered, remembering she spent the orc battle in a tree. "But I'm trying to be a gentleman."

She nodded in agreement, sneaking a peak at the forest floor. "Well, I guess I can't fault you for trying. That's all we want, anyway. We just want the effort."

He smiled and set her down on a long, thick branch that she guessed served as a stoop, before opening the door. Perhaps it was her American nature, perhaps it was because she'd had a tree house as a kid and the whole point was for privacy, but Sasha felt odd following him without knocking.

"Suliaid, Cristiel,"(Greetings, Cristiel) Elladan greeted what Sasha was guessing another elf warmly. She'd hugged him tight and Sasha smirked. So, Elladan had a fan club? Could have fooled her.

She grinned, batting her eyelashes. Sasha stared at the ceiling to keep from laughing. "Man anirach cerin an le?"(What can I do for you?)

Elladan walked back over to Sasha, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Care to look over this one, for me?"

Cristiel glanced at the human curiously. "Pedich Edhellen?" (Do you speak Elvish?)

"Um, no. That's in the other room."

Elladan grinned at her. Typical Sasha.

"I asked if you speak Elvish."

"Oh, well, in that case.. No. Not a word."

"Edan" Elladan explained for her. Sasha turned and looked at him. Second time she's heard that word, and still had no idea what it meant. She refused to ask; she didn't want to look like an idiot.  
"So, um, can you do anything or not?" She shifted from one foot to the other. "I really don't like being here. No offense!" She blurted out quickly.

Cristiel nodded and took her arm. "Wait here," She told Elladan. "By the looks of things, this should not take long."


	22. Chapter 22

"Man eneith lin?" Cristiel asked her when they arrived to the bed. "Sorry!" she blushed slightly, "Habit."

Sasha nodded. She got it. "Well, ask me again and I'll try to answer" she smiled sheepishly, somewhat ashamed to be here and not have a grasp on the language.

"I asked what your name is."

"Oh that's easy. Call me Sasha. Just Sasha. None of that 'Lady' crap. I went rounds with that one out there over that." She laughed heartily, guestering towards Elladan.

Cristiel smiled. "Sasha it is. I'm Cristiel, and if you can't tell, I'll be the one doing this."

"Great. Pleased to meet you." Sasha felt like she was at the gynecologist. A doctor's office was not the best place to try and make a friend. Cristiel tried to remove Sasha's outer shirt, making the human get to her feet, glaring at the elf menacingly.

"I know, it is not the most fun process, but I promise I will make it quick."

"No."

"I must check."

"There's nothing there."

"Have you seen for sure?"

"Well, no.."

"Then you could be in danger."

"Of what?!" She shrieked, "nothing hurts and I feel fine!"

"Then make me happy and prove you're well."

"Ugh!" Sasha whipped off her sweater and stood around in a pajama tank-top. "There, happy? Not a scratch!"

Cristiel, refusing to be baited took her arms and slowly examined little by little. All went well, until she reached the humans shoulders.

"What's this?" She asked, tracing her long fingers over a scar on Sasha's left shoulder.

Sasha didn't answer. "Your fingers are cold."

"Is it recent?"

"No."

"What happened?"

Sasha shrugged, "I was careless. It was an accident. I'm really mad it scared though, I didn't touch it. Well, I was trying to get through this space between my dad's desk, and the wall. Hanging on the wall, was this hideously ugly Southwest picture that had this big, thick frame. Well, I scraped myself on the edge of that frame. Hurt too, I actually cried. Anyway, I left it alone, put a cartload of gunk on it, and well what you see before you is a completely ugly scar that I can't get rid of."

The human felt more gunk being applied, but didn't bother to turn around. "It's not going to work," She told the elf. "I tried it all. Well, at least all that was in the house."

"It is not very big," Cristiel commented, "Perhaps this will be the cure that works."

"The cure that works" Sasha echoed. Good Lord above she was sick of arguing. //From now on,// she told herself, //I'm going to behave.//

"So," she reached for her sweater, "Are we done, can I go?"

Cristiel gave her the look. Yes, you all know, The Look. The one that says "I'm an Elf, and you're a dumb ass."

"No." Sasha pointed at her, catching on. "No way, not happening. But if you want to know, yes, I have another scar on my shin. My ex boyfriend's roommate's dog decided he wanted to jump on me. Goodbye."

"Come on Elladan, I want my shower now." She showed herself the door and marched out in perfect time. Elladan looked towards Cristiel, then to the door, lost. He knew Sasha would not be happy in there, yet did not hear her lose her temper. He shrugged, and his loyalties to the human stranger were stronger than his curiosity. He started his decent down the tree, catching up to Sasha who was about ¼ ahead of him.

She "Ahh'd" as her feet made contact with the ground, and brushed her hands off on her pants, proud of getting down on her own. Smiling, she waited for Elladan. She was in need of his service one more time.

"So," He smirked at her, making his own arrival to the ground. "How did it go?"

"You ever make me do that again," she grinned slyly, "And I'll kill you and make it look like an accident."

Elladan burst out laughing. "You handled that far better than I thought you would."

She had been had. "You planned this, didn't you?"

He leaned back against the tree, "Truthfully, it was Glorfy's idea."

"Aha, well I see. I have a very big bone to pick with Glorfy, but for now.. I have a question."

"Seems like you are making quite a long list of things you must do when you're here. Talk to Ada, Read about Balrogs, Yell at Glorfy..." He ticked each item off with his fingers. "Is there anything else?"

"Yep, as a matter of fact there is."

He waited.

"I want my shower."

"Sh..ower?"

"Shower. One word. Yup, I'd like it now please."

"What does one do in this sh..woer?"

"Stand in hot water and feel so much better."

"Oh! Like a bath!"

Sasha inwardly face-palmed. Shower, bath, same damn thing to anyone she knew. "Ok, yes. A bath. That's the next best thing. Can I have one?" She gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"Please?"


	23. Chapter 23

Hi guys! For those of you who are having trouble with this story, well, I'm pretty much hopless. I barely figured out how to post it(I don't even know how to go back and fix errors!)

But, hope it not lost. I have also been posting this story at , here: ?sid=11809 I'm not sure the link will work, may have to copy/paste. I'm sorry it's been giving people so much trouble here.. Thank you all for staying with me, and staying patient!

---

"So, what is this sho-wer?" Elladan asked, as he led her... well, she wasn't exactly sure where she was going, but she hoped there was water involved.

"It's where you stand in this big area and let water fall on you. Simply put, it's a bath standing up."

"And this would please you?"

She nodded. "Very much so. Then again, I'd settle for just getting wet."

"Well," he shrugged, "If that's truly what you want, then I cold always push you in the Bruinen, but I take it that's not pleasing."

"Bruinen huh.. Is that your river?"

He nodded.

Sasha rolled her eyes. "You're not supposed to tell me, dummy." She smiled, "Don't you know anything about the element of surprise?"

"Oh, yes," he smirked at her, "Much more than you know."

"Uh-huh. Well, so far, I don't see it big fella." She fell into step with him and happily chattered on for him to watch out, that she's like a panther.

"So, are we friends now?" Elladan raised an eyebrow looking at her.

"Friends? Oh yeah, sure.. Ok, yes... Yes, we can be friends." //May need a friend or two around here!//

He stopped in front of a closed door, which she assumed was for her. "Good. Than as a friend, I am telling you that you have no chance in surprising me." He nodded to the door, opening it. "Everything you should need is there. Go on, go."

XXX

Sasha walked in, closing the door behind her and leaned against it. Great, now it was almost quiet enough for her to hear her own thoughts. She blew her bangs out of her face and looked around. Of course, gorgeous. After seeing the grand entrance to this place, she wouldn't expect anything less of these people. Er, elves.

She wanted to test for an echo, but figured with her luck, someone would think she was dying and rush in. So, instead, she picked herself apart at the mirror. Her hair was tangled, limp, and dirty, she had smudges on her face, but thankfully no cuts. She looked like a pampered prissy poodle who had gone stray and fallen on tough times. Thank God she wasn't attracted to anyone in her little party- she didn't even want to think about her breath.

Forgetting momentarily that after she bathed and was clean, she'd have to put back on the same dirty clothes, she threw them to the side to enjoy her long-waited, and in her opinion, well-deserved bath. She hoped Elves as a race weren't like people in the Middle Ages- where if you were lucky you got a bath a few times a year.

Her water, as promised, was hot, thought not as much as she would have liked. She leaned her head back over the edge before disappearing under to work on her filthy rat's nest.

There were three bottles by the edge, each marked in another language. Pausing for a minute, she picked the first one hoping it was shampoo. "Well, at least it smells good." She justified.

She rinsed and repeated three times before moving on to the next bottle, also three times. She didn't hear the door open, but it was the sudden appearance of cold air that attracted her attention.

"Damn it, twin boy I'm not done yet!" She shrieked, trying to throw a bar of soap at the intruder. It slipped out of her fingers and landed back in the water.

She had no weapon, and was in a major disadvantage in the tub, but she was ready. At least as ready as she could be.

Her intruder and interrupter of the peace calmly walked around in front of her eyes. Well, hell, it wasn't Elladan at all. "My name is Adonnenniel, your hand-maiden. Welcome to Imladris, Lady Sasha." She bowed slightly.

"Wow, Ok" She tried to get her heart beating normally. "First, it's just Sasha. Second, who sent you, and third, what do I look like? A pampered princess? I can do stuff on my own."

"May I speak freely, My Lady?"

She shrugged, slapping the water. "Sure, why not. Go ahead."

"Do you wish to send me away, when Lord Elrond himself sent me here?"

"I think I'm safe to do as I'd like... I don't know who he is. So, yep, I'm good with it."

"Lord Elrond is the father of our glorious land, as well as Lords Elladan and Elrohir."

"Rightt," It clicked; Sasha got it. "I get it."

Adonnenniel bowed her head. Sasha did notice she had gorgeous hair.. Well, everyone did around here. Did they use this stuff with the funky writing?

"Well, in that case, there is something you could do for me."

"Yes, my Lady?"

"Hand me that towel and turn around. Please." Dang, this being in charge was fun.


	24. Chapter 24

The shocked look on poor Adonnenniel's face told Sasha she wasn't really expecting that order. Not much of an order, Sasha thought. More like level of comfort? Or common courtesy? She hopped out of the tub and picked off a burgundy robe off the wall.

"Um, ok. Maybe this wasn't the best idea I've ever had."

"How so, my lady?"

She took a place in front of the elf and flapped the robe like wings by her legs. "This is why. Um, where can I wash my clothes?"

No way in hell was she going to ask for a shirt.

"If you follow me, I will show you to fresh clothes. Are you finished, my lady?"

"Speaking of fresh... Can I brush my teeth?"

The elf nodded and pointed to the sink. How could she be so blind? It was right there. She snatched it up like a Chanel item on clearance, added the blue gunk-y stuff conveniently placed close, and set out to be minty and fresh.

Finally, feeling better than she had since this wacky dream materialized, she smiled at Adonnenniel. "Alright, I'm ready. Clothes, please."

Her new hand-maiden smiled warmly and opened the door, leading her to a bedroom. Only, it didn't look like any bedroom Sasha had ever seen in her life. In fact, her only hint was, you guessed it. A bed.

Gorgeous, of course.

"Wait," she stopped in the middle of the room, placing her hands on her hips. Adonnenniel turned to face her. "We didn't... This way... Coming in... Never mind..." she closed her eyes for a moment. "Maybe I don't want to know."

Adonnenniel turned away from her strange, new charge and opened a large, oak cabinet. "As you wish, my lady. Now, here we are. Pick any one you desire. Then, I will show you jewelery and head pieces."

"Oh, I wish... I totally wish.. Oh hell no! They're dresses!"

The elf nodded like it was completely obvious. You're a girl. You belong in one of these things. "Do you not like them?"

They were indeed pretty, Sasha gave them that. But they were still evil.

"They're beautiful," she admitted, coming forward to touch the material. "But I haven't put on a dress in forever. Last time I think, was a dance back in high school! And shocker- not prom!" she rambled.

"You could always walk with the robe," Elladan said behind her. "You would cause quite a sensation."

"Hmm, Adonnenniel, can you toss me a shoe? A brush? Anything? I'd like to throw it at him."

Elladan smirked. "I just come to check on you, and I get this mistreated."

"Oh stop, mistreated my buttowski. This is nothin'."

True to Elladan form, he shook off her half attempt at an insult and threw a purple dress at her. "Wear this one."

"Why?"

"I like it. I will wait outside." He shut the door, leaving Sasha open-mouthed in shock.

"Wow," she laughed, glancing at the dress, then back to the door. "Now, I really think I should wear this thing because it got him to leave on his own!"

"And because Lord Elladan picked it out," Adonnenniel giggled, blushing slightly.

Sasha bit her lip, looking at the elf maiden. Then to the door again, then back to the girl in front of her. "You like him, don't you?"

"Of course. Everyone thinks very highly of Elladan and his brother. They are incredible warriors that can face any enemy."

She knew, she saw. She was there. But, if the rest of the elves in this place hero-worshiped the twins, maybe she should keep her mouth shut. The last thing she wanted was to draw attention to herself and have to answer a million questions on what it was like to watch.

"No, no." Sasha grinned, raising her finger. "You -like- him." Alright, so this Elf wasn't her best friend. So she didn't know anything more about her other than her name. But, she was still a girl and missed her girl talk and game of "Rate the Guys."

Never in her wildest dreams would she think she'd be playing "Rate the Elf." WITH an elf that didn't have white hair and make cookies, to boot!

"Does he know?"

"Pardon, my Lady?"

"Does he know you, ok how do I say this..Harbor feelings for him, want to court him, anything ringing a bell?" She raised her eyebrow. "Help me out here, I'm out of old world terms."

"I am sorry, I believe you're mistaken. There is no feelings of romance. He is free, if you so desire him."

"Me?!" She snorted, very unlady-like. "No thank you, I pass. Thanks but no thanks. No, nyet, non, and hell to the no."

"Do all females take this long?" Elladan whined from the other end of the door. Sasha gasped and put her hands over her mouth. Just because she didn't want to fall into his arms didn't mean she wanted to hurt his feelings. Besides annoy her like mad, he wasn't half bad. He'd never tried to hurt her. In all honesty, Sasha was surprised he was still waiting. She figured he'd get bored and go off to do something else.

"She is almost done, my Lord." Andonnenniel spoke for them both. Sasha glared at her.

"Are you crazy?" She hissed.

"It will be alright, trust me please. Put it on."

"Isn't that supposed to be your job?"

"I feel you would prefer to do this alone."

"Oh, how observant of you," Sasha whispered back, to the closed door.


	25. Chapter 25

"Stupid dresses, Stupid dream, No, stupid nightmare" Sasha grumbled, trying to find the head of the evil garment. She had already put it on backwards twice, and was quickly losing her patience. Huffing, she pulled the material over her head, accidentally causing it to box her ears in the process.

"Stupid dress." She mumbled once again, trying to summon the courage to look at herself.

"Wow," she admitted, rather surprised. "I may not like it, but at least I don't look like a rag-picker. If only mom could see me now."

She quickly decided surprising her mother wasn't worth it. At least if she looked like a rag picker, she'd be comfortable.

"Ok, Lucy and Ethel, you can come in now."

"Do you mean us, my Lady?"

"Oh, just get in here."

The door opened, and the elves walked in. Sasha spun around once, then crossed her arms. "Happy now, guys? I feel ridiculous."

Elladan smiled, "You may feel ridiculous, but you look beautiful."

Sasha quickly looked towards Adonnenniel, wondering how she'd take his compliment to someone else. Her eyes showed nothing.

"You do look beautiful," she agreed. "But you need a head piece." She was really excited, having dragged Sasha by the arm to look at the selection.

"Whoa, nuh uh." Sasha arched away from them, "This is a big step already. One at a time. Please."

The elf maiden nodded, and Sasha looked towards Elladan. "So, I de-stinkified. Look like the rest of you, and managed to feel better before... What now?"

"Are you ready to meet with Ada?"

She turned back to the elf. "You're the other one." She said calmly.

"Which other one, my lady?"

//Aw hell, here we go again.. E something!//

"Elrohir."

//Hey, good job!//

"I promise I am not."

"Uh huh," she left the head pieces alone and walked to the door. "Ok Elladan, you can come out now. I wasn't born yesterday."

"Not until you ask nicely."

She looked around, "Where are you?"

Silence.

She looked at Adonnenniel, who shrugged, and pseudo Elladan, AKA Elrohir, who grinned broadly.

"Elladan, would you please come out for me? I don't want you to hide."

"That, my lady, is the nicest thing you have ever said to me." Elladan came from behind her, giving her a hug.

She shook her way out. "Nice try guys. You didn't have me fooled a bit."

"Impossible." Elrohir leaned against the door while Elladan slapped his shoulder.

"Very possible. It's easy."

"There are those who have known us for thousands of years who cannot tell the difference."

She shrugged, "Well, that may be it. They've become careless. Look, Elrohir, you're a smidgen shorter. I know where Elladan's supposed to be when we stand by each other. And Elladan, you've got a deeper voice. It's nothing personality wise, you're actually really good at that. It's birth stuff, stuff you can't do anything about."

"And you notice this right away?"

"Yup. But don't feel bad, I've been doing it way before today."

She patted their arms, enjoying her victory. "So guys, where's your papa?"

Elrohir, still in shock, simply pointed. Elladan rolled his eyes at his brother and offered her his arm, which she had no choice but to take. She winked at Adonnenniel, who tried to hide her smile.

XXX

"Are you nervous?" he asked her, trying to keep the human from her own thoughts. "I can almost hear your heart beat."

"A little. But then again, part of me is still convinced this is a dream, and that all your dad will be able to do is wake me up. But I'm confused as hell as to why I can't do that part myself."

He stopped and turned her towards him. "No, my lady. It is not a dream, it is real."

She nodded, "That's what I'm afraid of."

"Afraid, why?"

"Well, to start.. Look at me. I had to borrow clothes, your horse, a room in your damn house even. How in God's green earth can I survive here when I have nothing of my own?"

"Which are all for your use, so long as you shall need them."

Sasha spun around to come face to face with yet another elf she'd never seen before. It wasn't Elrohir, It wasn't Adonnenniel, and it wasn't the Blond guy. "A-are you Elladan's dad?"

He looked at her, with cool gray eyes, and Sasha could almost feel herself shrink. //Fool! Idiot!//

"I am, though I prefer Elrond. Welcome, my dear, to Imladris."

She nodded her head, offering her hand. "Wait, you guys don't do that, do you?" She looked at Elladan for help. "I'm sorry," she admitted. "I'm usually not such a spaz."

"You're nervous."

She nodded, "yes."

The elf Lord offered her his hand, "Well, why don't you come with me and let's have a little talk."

"Good luck," Elladan whispered to her. "Nothing good ever comes from a talk."

Elrond glared at his son. "Elladan, do you not have somewhere to be?"

"No Ada, I'm not leaving her alone with you and Erestor. He will scare her."

Sasha wanted to butt in and say she can handle anyone, but she didn't want to seem rude in front of Lord Elrond. So, she thought it instead.

Elrond sighed, "Do you mind, Lady Sasha? If he attends as well?"

She shook her head no, at least he was familiar.

"Ada! She could tell Elrohir and I apart!" Elladan exclaimed, once he secured permission to stay. "Is that not amazing?!"

Both elves glanced towards her, as Elrond led the human to his offices. She shrugged shyly.

"Then perhaps she should indeed stay with us, so I can ask for her help in keeping you both behaving."

"Nah, she's one of us!" Elladan grinned.

She knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to delay the discomfort. He was trying to keep things light.

Elrond showed her to a seat, and introduced her to Erestor, one of his advisors and overseer of elfling education. He and Erestor sat on one side, Sasha and Elladan on the other. She felt like she was bringing Elladan home to meet her family.

"Well," Elrond started softly, careful to not scare Sasha any more. "Let us start simple. Why don't you tell us your name."

"Sasha Knauer."

"Alright, and how old are you?"

"24, sir."

//I feel like this is an interview. Should I tell him what my favorite color is?//

"She is a young ling," Erestor whispered to Elrond, "Why is she here alone?"

"Actually, I've been considered an 'adult' for six years now. Been on my own for awhile."

"Where are you from?" Erestor asked, clearly intrigued at being an adult at 24.

'"Ahh, well that's confusing. See I know where I'm from, but you won't. I mean, you've never heard of it. I am positive."

"We found her in Bree, Ada."

"Thank you Elladan, but we already know your background. Tell us anyway, dear. I am sure between us, we have heard of your home."

She sighed, there was no way. No effing way. "Ok. Washington, DC. In the country of the United States of America."

Elrond and Erestor stared at her. "Perhaps you were right child, would you mind explaining where exactly it is?"

"Earth. Not -Middle- Earth. Earth. To us, nothing here exists. It's all a story." Sasha babbled, she had been through all this with the twins back in Bree. Well, actually, she had told them to butt out and leave her alone, but she hoped her insistence her being here was a dream would show she didn't belong.

Elrond sat back in thought, wondering what to be done with this girl. Erestor, meanwhile, continued to question her.

"And you got to Bree, how?"

Elladan sat up, he did not know this answer either.

"Oh God, seems like so long ago... Well I was home, my home. It was after work. I was making food.. I don't remember what. I burned it! I burned my food... Did, did I die?" She looked up at Erestor, begging for an answer.

"I do not know, child. I do not know what to tell you. We are just as confused as you."

She turned to Elladan, and repeated the question.

"You were alive when we found you."

She nodded, standing. "I'm sorry guys, c-may I be excused?"

Elrond nodded. He knew she was scared, but he also knew she would never admit it again. He was lucky he got it from her the first time. "Please, rest. We can finish at a later date. Elladan will show you back to your room."

She waved shortly, and walked out.


	26. Chapter 26

Hey guys, I'm back! Well, first, I would like to thank you all again for sticking with me here. There have been some chapters I look at and go "I can't BELIEVE I posted that, it's awful!" But you guys have responded really well, and that makes me super happy!

Second, I claim no ownership to the poem in here. I'm hoping everyone knows of Where the Sidewalk Ends and Mr. Shel Silverstein. His work, his poem, not mine. While we're at it, I don't own LOTR either...

-blah blah blah- Elladan's Thoughts.

* * *

Sasha slipped quietly out the door, not worrying about manners or impressions at this point. She was silent as she nearly collided into Glorfindel, who had been hovering around the door as "muscle" should he be needed. Elladan, who had risen in attempt to follow her was cut off at his knees.

"Leave her alone, Elladan." Glorfindel warned, "she's scared."

"Of what?"

Erestor rolled his eyes. Could his former pupil really be that thickheaded? "Of what, well let us examine this- shall we?"

Elladan wished he would fall into Mount Doom, and started singing a song in his head to drone out the advisor.

Ever clever, Elrond, deciding that Elladan would do well to listen to Erestor's lecture, went off in search of his latest addition. He found her, sitting on the steps facing the training fields.

"Am I really off my rocker?" She asked sadly. "Or more importantly, am I really dead?"

Elrond was quiet for a moment. He didn't have an answer for this girl. He did not foresee her arrival, therefore this must be some type of accident. But how, how?

"You can't help me, can you." It wasn't quite an accusation, just a quiet statement.

He turned to look at her. "Listen child, I promise I will figure out your purpose. No, I do not know why or how you have arrived to us. No, I have never heard of your home, or seen a lady in the clothes you were brought in with."

She put her head down, almost ashamed.

"But here is what I do know. You have friends in my sons, and in me. Trust in us, and we shall help you return to where you belong."

She looked at the elf lord timidly. He had an air of power and prestige around him. She had no doubt if he said something would happen, by God it would. She got the feeling people jumped for him.

"Oh Eru, he's going to torture her!" Elladan's voice rang out though the halls, looking for his new friend. "Erestor, this is all your fault!"

"Fear not, I've already eaten my share of hearts today," Lord Elrond winked at her, before offering his hand to help her up.

Elladan skidded around the corner and grabbed her away from his father. "I told you, nothing good comes out of these talks!" He whispered.

"I take it you're in trouble a lot?"

He grinned proudly. "That I am, my lady. That I am."

She rolled her eyes and pushed him away. "Lord Elrond," she called.

He turned to her.

"Do you really think I've got a purpose here?"

He shrugged slightly, "Anything can be. I shall help you to find out."

"Anything can be..." Sasha echoed, giving in and finally following Elladan outside. "Listen to the mustn't s child, listen to the dont's. Listen to the shouldnt's the impossibles, the wont's. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen child, anything can be."

"Did you just think of that right now?" Elladan grinned, "It's rather pleasing to the ear."

"Aw no, it's from a book back home. It's called Where the Sidewalk Ends. Just hearing your dad's 'anything can be' triggered it."

"Do you miss your home?" -Brilliant Elladan! Open mouth, insert foot, you idiot!-

"Yeah," she looked up at him sadly. "I do. Thanks for checking."

-Of course I am completely rude and insensitive, and you are completely lovely and accepting.-

"You can't read minds, can you?" He asked, double checking.

"What? No," She started to laugh, "What gave you that idea?"

He shrugged, "Just asking. I mean you do come from a different time, it's possible you may have gifts."

She plopped back down on the floor, leaning against a door and watched horses being brought back to their rooms in the stable. "Nope, well not that one at least."

"You do know you will get dirty sitting like that."

"Yep."

"And you do not mind?"

"Nope."

He smiled, and continued talking. "I apologize, my lady for being so overwhelming before. Earlier. At Bree."

"Why do you keep slipping all formal when you're saying something that could be uncomfortable?" She asked, completely skipping over his apology. "Am I really that threatening?"

"I did not realize I was doing it."

"Yeah, yeah," She smiled, "I think you did."

"I promise, I didn't."

"Yep, put it in writing."

He laughed, "I shall. And I'll write it myself! No making someone else do it for me."

"Wow, now that's power! I never could find someone else to do my assignments."

"Oh, now it is an assignment?"

"Ohh yeah" She winked, nearly toppling over. "In fact, I should make you write it over and over 100 times, then make a presentation."

"And what is the topic?"

"The topic is don't worry so much on protocol. You don't have to stand on occasion when you're saying something difficult. Hey, if I did that every time I brought up something someone didn't like, well I wouldn't even bother learning anyone's name. I'd be like My Lord this, My Lady that, forget individual names."

"Malia 'ten vasa?"

"Eh?"

He laughed, "I asked if you would care for some food.. Real food too. Not," he lowered his voice, "Not what Elrohir calls food."

"I don't know," She whispered back, trying to sound serious but failing in her mind. "Food may be how I died."

"Can I have yours then?"

"Sure, why do you need me if you're just going to eat mine?" She stuck her tongue out.

"Well, I don't need you," He raised a hand at the incredulous look she shot him, "But I want you to. Let me be your escort."

"Do you guys dress for dinner?" She motioned to her dirtier dress, "Or will I be ok?"

"You'll be fine," he laughed. "Everyone will be talking about me bringing the dirty lady."

"Oh, you are so going to regret that."


	27. Chapter 27

She had nothing on him and they both knew it,but she couldn't possibly let him have the last word. She didn't know how to make him regret his words. Maybe, she thought, maybe she would if she were actually offended, but playing was one of her favorite things to do―with anyone. It would take a lot more to offend her.

Her stomach and mind screamed for the food in front of her, but her heart wouldn't let her eat in peace. Instead, she picked at her plate, which she noticed was all greens, try to figure out the conversations around her, and laugh when Elrohir came close to stabbing his brother with the fork for trying to pick off his plate.

As a teenager, that rule completely applied between her and one of her cousins, Joey. One time, at Christmas, she actually did make contact. Though he was fine, and they laughed about it five minutes later, no one in her family would ever let her forget that stupid fork.

She then tried to look around and spot the ugliest person in each little clique, but soon gave up. There were none. This was the first time she had a good look at many of the other elves, since she wasn't paying much attention when they rode in, she was too busy trying to stay invisible. In turn, however, this was probably their first time getting a good look at her, so she sat a little straighter, painted a smile on her face, and drank to, well, drank to her new surroundings and hew new friends. She still wasn't close to going home, but at least now she had a bed to lay in, and that was a hell of a lot more than before.

"Hungry?" Elladan asked her laughing, looking at her plate.

Sasha looked down, in her boredom, or perhaps her unhappiness, she had eaten everything. Even the icky carrots she wished she could throw at someone.

"Yeah, guess so. I guess when you're bored, you don't pay much attention." Even at her parents' ridiculous parties, she still had people, sometimes complete strangers ask her about work, or boyfriends, or rattle on about how she's getting older and should get married.

Elladan elbowed his brother, who just barely covered his plate in time. "Some escort you are, she is bored."

Elrohir peered over his brother's shoulder, "Is that true?"

"Now Sasha, is it true you put gum in little Johnny's hair? I feel like I'm in trouble, jeez!"

The twins grinned, "Sorry. We learned it from ada. Then Erestor."

"He didn't seem too awful."

"Pshh," Elladan waved her off, "it is because he does not have you figured out yet. He is purposely being nice."

"If you say so."

"We do, now look at we have!"

"I have, Elladan."

"Alright, you have!"

* * *

At the head of the table, Erestor turned to Elrond solemnly ."What do you suppose they're talking about?" He drew the elf lord's attention to the trio with his eyes. "They seem awfully...involved"

Elrond groaned, rubbing his face. He had just released the twins from their previous punishment before their journey to Bree, and he was running out of discipline. "You don't think..." he trailed off

Erestor stared directly into his eyes, "It is exactly what I think. Should we separate them?"

Elrond shook his head, "No. We can't separate her from the only friends she has here. While I wish she attached herself to others besides my sons, they do care."

"What is your suggestion, my Lord?"

Elrond thought for a moment, "What if she had other activities to occupy her time here?"

"A fine idea. She would fit in with Arwen and the elleths wonderfully. Though I do not feel like she would accept the idea willingly"

"It is not with Arwen to which I was speaking."

"Who then?"

"I was thinking... We do not yet know how long she will be with us in Imladris, correct?"

"Correct." Erestor did not know yet where this was going.

"And while here, do you not think it would be beneficial for her to learn how to communicate?"

"You want me to teach her, my Lord."

"Yes."

"But you said it yourself, we do not know how long she will be with us. What if she is not here long enough to learn?"

"But what if she is, Erestor? What if she wants to learn? Are you going to deny her that option, after all, you taught my terrors."

Erestor glared at his friend. "You are appealing to my vanity."

"Is it working, my friend?"

"Wonderfully. We shall start tomorrow."

"Should we tell her our decision?"

"I recommend not, my Lord. You said it yourself, I taught Elladan and Elrohir. If she tells them of this, together, the three of them will come up with an excuse to not attend in five minutes."

Elrond grinned, his advisor was certainly observant. "Well said."

* * *

The trio at the other end of the table paid absolutely no attention to the tiny meeting at the front. While Elladan had been off with Sasha, Elrond, and Erestor, Elrohir had managed a bottle of bubble bath from Arwen's bath, and had carefully emptied the bottle into the small waterfall outside the dining halls.

Elladan had grinned like a madman when he found out, Sasha called it weak.

"Weak?!" Elrohir argued, defending his brilliant idea. "Can you do better, my lady?"

"As a matter of fact, I think I can.. Well," she thought for a second, "Not quite on the joke scale, but more the embarrassment scale. Never mind, don't listen to me. You are the masters."

"And the faster you learn that, the safer you are" Elladan exclaimed. "Next, we should find a way to dye Asfoalth's mane pink!"

"Who?"

"Glorfy's horse."

"Um, Kool Aid?"

"Pardon?"

"Kool Aid would get us the color. I wonder if it can be made..." Sasha grinned wickedly. She loved pulling things over on people, then watch them pass her by for a culprit. The beauty of being a girl.

"Can you do it?" Elrohir whispered, eying the Balrog Slayer.

"Maybe, I can try. It's been awhile since I've even had it."

"What is it, exactly?"

"It's a powder, you put it in a pitcher of water to make it colorful and add flavor."

"Will you make us some?" Elladan pleased, like she had promised to make him his own endless supply of chocolate.

"Shh, yes. If it's possible, I swear you will have some. Ok? Now," she sat back, eying the exit. "What do we do with this bubble bath? Will it bubble over itself or do you have to press something?"

The twins shared identical glances.

"Uh, oh. That doesn't look good."

Elrohir rubbed the back of his neck, "It will need... stirring."

"By what?"

"More like... by who?"

She looked up at him, "Ok then, by who?"

The twins stood and each offered her an arm, "Shall we?"

She stood and accepted. "This better mean I'm watching the two of you. Or standing guard, or...something!"

"Not exactly," Elladan started laughing, holding her arm tighter. "You are going to help us out."

"If you want me to do something for you, you ask me."

"Will you be so kind as to help us?" Elrohir asked her, smiling.

"See that you... you brute. It's always your brother who's nice and polite." Sasha half laughed- half shrieked as she tried to dig her heels in the pebbles leading up to the water. She grew up with a pool, she'd went to college. She knew all about being thrown in freezing cold water in your clothes.

"If you think I'm getting in there with you, you're out of your mind."


	28. Chapter 28

"And the beauty of being as old as we are," Elladan countered, "Is in human years, we are ancient. Therefore, allowed to have absolutely no mind left at all."

"Funny."

"Indeed. Now, will you go in like a lady, or do we have to toss you?"

She thrashed about trying to get out of their grip. "Answer your question, twin boys?"

They nodded to each other, and started to swing her. "Err, atta, nelde."

"Oh God,"

She was face to face with the water.

"Mommy."

And she was in.

"I hate you both."

The elves burst into twin hysterics, leaning on each other for support. Sasha stood up, dripping wet daring any of the passer-byes to say anything with her eyes, and smirked at the twins. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, is this funny? Is this funny to you?"

"I think it is incredibly funny," Elladan admitted, before breaking out in laughter again.

"Ditto!" Elrohir chimed in between breaths.

Since there was no way she was going to be able to lift the two of them up, especially if they struggled, she started to splash them. Nothing fancy, just splash.

"Hey twin boys, if you don't get in here right now, I'm going right up to your dad and the blonde guy and telling them about your evil plans."

"Aw, that's not fair!" Elrohir whined, "you're supposed to be on our side."

"I was, until you pulled this little stunt. Now come on, get in!" She splashed again.

Unlike her, the twins needed no force. They looked at each other and bound in like little ducks. Although it was hard trying not to splash in anyone's face, true to their word, their movement added some bubbles.

And more.

"Ok guys, now it's not as close as I thought from here," she confided, holding onto the edge "we need something big."

"It is too bad we cannot bring a horse in here."

Elrohir and Sasha looked to Elladan. "A horse?"

"What," he defended his idea, "it is large."

"You guys didn't plan this through, did you?"

"Well... not entirely."

"That's beginning to shine through. Ok, let me think." She drummed her fingertips on the stony edge and racked her brain. We can't have more people join us, we're definitely not bringing in a horse, we can't tip this thing over and slush over the water that way.

Someone was jabbing her.

"Not now, I'm thinking."

"Sasha." More jabbing

"Hang on."

"Sasha" Poke

"Just sit there and put a lid on it."

"Sasha!" Up an octave, with more pokes.

"Whattt," She whined, spinning around in the water. "Ohhh, hell." She took one look and tried to sink under, before losing her breath and hiding behind Elladan."

Elrond and Glorfindel stood at high noon, arms folded, looking very unhappy indeed.

"Ohhh boy."

"I don't know what that means, but I have a feeling you're right." Elrohir whispered.

Elrond pointed to the land, "You three, out. Now."

The guilty party scrambled over themselves and the small edge, as though if they hurried and obeyed, the punishment would be less severe. Sasha wondered if she should immediately try to explain, or not say a word unless she was spoken to. Elrond didn't look like he was in the mood to hear any excuse, so she chose the later and kept quiet, staring at her feet.

She only picked her head up when she saw extra feet crossing the path. Another elf holding a funky looking guitar, and a harp, gave her a sympathetic smile. At the risk of pissing off the higher ranking elves, she didn't respond.

"Do I want to know?" Lord Elrond asked his sons, he sounded tired.

Elladan shook his head. "I do not think so."

"Glorfindel, please escort Sasha back to her quarters and keep her there."

She looked up. That didn't sound too awful... Yet.

Glorfindel approached her and stared sternly. Sasha could actually feel herself shrinking back.

"Wait," Elladan called after them, "Dare I ask, to have a kiss my lady? Before I am to enter the chamber of horrors?"

Sasha smiled, his own spin on the classic line. Maybe Dumas studied this world too before he wrote his books.

"Dare, dare my beloved. A thousand times, dare."

Elladan puckered up, Sasha turned on her heels and hurried up to Glorfy.

"It would be wise if you stay in here, my Lady" Glorfindel said softly, opening her door. "Fear not, I am sure the twins will be appropriately punished."

"Wait, you don't think I was involved?"

He shook his head, "Of course not. Seeing as you are a guest in our land, surely you would have enough respect to not participate in such actions."

//In the words of Lucy Ricardo, Ewwww//

"Respect, right," She repeated, refusing to meet eye contact. "Well, I must say goodbye. I'm wet, and it's cold. Farewell." She closed the door quickly, and bit her lip.

It wasn't a total lie, she was indeed still wet, which in turn caused her to be cold. She took off the dress and placed it flat on the bench of her window-seat, hoping it would dry somewhat quickly. She didn't know if it was a loaner. She picked out a dark green dress from her pile, the same one she wanted to wear originally before Elladan's insistence on the purple.

She was sure the twins would be eaten alive. She remembered them saying Elrond was strict and no-nonsense. Ok, so they threw her in against her will. So she wasn't even there when Elrohir was in his sister's room, she still knew. She still could have reported it to Elrond.

"Psh, fat chance," She snorted. She was a lot of things, but snitch was not one of them.

She puttered around the room, weighing her options. She could either march right down to Elrond, tell him she knew about the whole damn thing and hope he respected the fact she's not a tattle tale. Or, she could confess she knew everything and be banished. Or she could go with Glorfy's idea and look completely innocent, sit tight and look pretty.

She absolutely loved Glorfy's idea, but in the end her up bringing won out. Sure, they got off to kind of a rough start, but now they were her friends. She couldn't let them take the wrath all by themselves.

//Well, mom.. I hope you're satisfied,// she thought bitterly, as she opened the door and stuck her head out looking for a 'guard.' Happily surprised she found none, she started walking. She figured she would just have to listen for raised voices.

She found a familiar hall way and quickly pressed her ear against the closed doors in hopes of voices. Finally, she was ¾ down when her work paid off. She couldn't tell who was speaking, but they were definetly annoyed.

"-Be so selfish"

"-So irresponsible."

"- Unacceptable."

Wow, could have been a lecture of her own. She leaned closer against the door. Now the other voice.

"-Disgrace."

"Inappropriate behavior"

-"Guest."

It dawned on her that when one yelled, the other listened. And when that one yelled, the first one listened. In her experience, now they would both yell.

She kept waiting for the twins to say something, to argue back against these remarks. She would. Hell, given the chance she'd argue about anything.

Figuring now was as good a time as any, she knocked softly.

"Not now," one of them, Elrond, Erestor, or maybe Glorfindel bellowed towards the door.

"Eeek."

"Mr- uh, Lord Elrond, it's Sasha."

Elrond looked to Glorfindel, who shrugged. He had done as he was told, he took her to her room. Elrond crossed his study and opened the door. "I"m sorry Sasha.. Now is not a good time. I think you should be back in your room."

She tried to peer around him to catch a glimpse of Elladan and Elrohir, but his height was too much for her. "Wait, sir. No."

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"I mean you're right, I shouldn't be here, not my business and all but hey I'm in just as much trouble as they are."

"We can discuss that another-"

"Sir, I knew."

"Knew what, Sasha?" He spoke as if she were a small child, who had been running in all day pulling on his pants, er, robes.

"I was in on it, part of the plan, another mastermind?"

Elrohir elbowed his brother out of his spaced-out state and nodded to the voice in the doorway.

"Anyway," She continued, "I just wanted to come down here and admit that to you. In person."

Elrond rubbed his temples. "Very well Sasha. I'm sure you know the mistake you have made, seeing as you are not my kin I cannot punish you as a father, but you still must learn a lesson."

She nodded, mutely.

"As for you two," he glared at his sons. "You should thank Eru that your friend has decided to come forth and admit her part. Now if only you two would take a lesson. Now go. The three of you will be hearing your punishment soon."

The party shuffled out the door, keeping their eyes forward. No one spoke until they were safely around the corner.

"Why did you do that?" Elrohir asked, sticking his hands in the pockets of his still wet robe.

She shrugged.

"You are not sure?" Elladan pried.

She sighed, "nope."

She knew why, she knew damn well why. And it had nothing at all whatsoever to do with her parents.

"And you will not tell us?"

"Ughh, ok when I was in high- er, used to have lessons we had to read this really boring book. Well, there was this guy I thought was cute in there, but he was kind of a slacker. Never really prepared. One day, I got him talking to me before we started, but when we did of course, he didn't have his book. So, I give him mine, I get called on and I say I don't have it."

"You did not wish for him to get in trouble."

"Exactly. I uh, I liked him."

"So you took the blame."

"Full on. But I couldn't do that here, your dad saw you guys too."

"Would you have?" Elladan asked quietly, he had never heard of such a thing before.

She shrugged again, "Maybe."

He smiled a little more, "Maybe? What kind of answer is maybe?"

"Maybe's maybe. Now go do something that won't get you into even more trouble."

"What are you going to do?"

She thought for a second. "Take a nap."


	29. Chapter 29

Yay!! You guys like this, you really really like this! You're all making me a very, very happy camper! THANK YOU!

xxx

As a kid, Sasha never really got in trouble for practical jokes. First, she had no one to help her plot and execute such plans, and second, well, she wasn't really creative enough beyond short sheeting her mom's bed when she was mad at her. Her punishments came from talking back. Something she never really grew out of.

She got comfortable on the bed, hugged a pillow, and strained to remember coming here. If Elrond couldn't help her, it dawned on her suddenly that maybe she could help herself. She had never tried yet. Though her confidence was low- she couldn't even remember what she had been cooking. Not that Rivendell was so horrible and torturous, it sure was gorgeous, and the twins were growing on her, hell even being in trouble was familiar, but she wasn't prepared for this.

//I did die// she admitted, //well, maybe not really, but I'm here and not there, and didn't get to fix things and all that Casper spook stuff. Wow,// she continued, tilting her head in thought, //Is this what it feels like? I never thought there wouldn't be a 'later'//

Someone knocked on her door, breaking her pity party of thoughts. She assumed it would be someone sent from Elrond to dish out some punishment, as the Elf Lord was most likely too busy to arrive himself. They knew she was in there; she couldn't play the No one's home game. Well, after this talk with herself, she wouldn't have to 'act' sorry.

Instead of a stern elf guy, she got the twins bouncing into her room like eager, hyper puppies. She had to admit, they did have tons of energy.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well that's a fine hello," Elrohir winked pulling on

her sleeve, while Elladan shut the door.

"I should put bells on you two."

"And why is that?"

"So I know when you're around."

Now, Sasha had no problems going against authority. In fact, she'd be leading the pack, but as she was reminded e very day, she was a guest.

"Is the fact we just annoyed your dad totally lost on you guys? I mean he can't do anything to you, but he can kick me out."

"Nonsense," Elladan picked up her vacated pillow and threw it at her. "We have been testing his patience for thousands of years, right Elrohir?"

"Millenniums."

"Ok, don't say things like that. It weird's me out."

"I apologize."

"So, what's going to happen to us?"

They shrugged; clearly they had been through this too many times to care.

"Usually cleaning projects, or stall work. That's Glorfy's favorite."

"Cleaning?"

They nodded.

"And that's the punishment? Chores?"

"It is for us."

She threw the pillow back at Elladan, "That's nothing you couple of babies!"

"It is especially awful if you get assigned to Erestor's"

"And why is that?"

"I think he leaves it messy on purpose." Elrohir confided. "It's always much worse than normal."

"Hm, sounds like something my dad would do." She joined Elladan on the bed, shoving him over to make room for Elrohir. "Want to sit down?"

"It would not be proper."

She didn't bother to hide her shock. "And who made sitting on a bed so wrong?"

"With you, I cannot."

She pointed to Elladan, "he is."

"Such a small thing does not matter." Elladan lay down.

"There you go, Elrohir. He's on my bed. Lying on my bed. Do you really think I care if you sit down?"

She tried to roll Elladan's feet away, and he retaliated by sticking them on her. She looked to Elrohir for help.

"You are on your own," he grinned, taking a seat on the desk.

"Whatever happened to helping a lady in distress?"

"You do not appear to be in such distress."

"Oh, I see," she tried to kick Elladan with her bare feet, "so I have to scream and cry?"

"Or plead." He started laughing.

"For-get it." She hissed. Elladan had now started trying to touch her hair with his feet.

"Come help me brother, this is quite fun" He smirked at her.

She glared, trying to smack him.

"Once again, Elladan you are annoying her."

"Nah, she's having fun," Elladan patted her head before she could say Damn right he is!

"Yes Elladan, I am indeed having fun. I'm sorry for over-reacting." An idea formed in her mind.

Elladan shot an 'I told you so' look at his brother, who shook his head.

With his guard down, Sasha was able to hug him, using the position to knock him to the floor. Too surprised to speak, Elladan just stared at her, while Elrohir laughed hysterically. The surprised look on his brother's face was priceless, and Elrohir had seen the whole thing coming.

She nodded her approval in her tiny victory and took up all the space she could on the bed out of spite.

Elladan recovered from his shock and pulled her to the floor.

"Hey! That hurt twin boy."

"You wish to settle this?" he smiled, rising to his knees.

"Bring it, Skippy!" She shouted her battle cry, and lunged towards him. If she could only keep him down. He was deceiving though, he had the strength of three bears, though he didn't look particularly intimidating in that area.

Instead of her brilliant plan working, he grabbed her, holding her arms behind her back as she used her body to thrash around. She kneed him in the stomach, bringing him back down to her level, and tried to place him in a never-before seen headlock.

In his efforts to break free from this new devilry, he knocked her flat on her back, with his head staying on her. It hurt, making contact with the floor at that pace, and she had no choice but to release him.

They looked at each other, then to the floor, then gave up and rolled over each other, trying to pin the other one down.

"Will you take it easy? I'm a girl for God's sake!"

"This is why girls do not belong in battle."

They crashed into the wall and rolled away.

Elrohir couldn't breathe and wished more than anything he could capture this moment forever.

"Just be a man and stay down!" She was sitting on his stomach, trying to count.

He flipped her off him, holding her down with his knee. "I think not."

"You will get off her now," Elladan felt himself being lifted by his robes, and both he and Sasha stared at Glorfindel. Both pointed to the other, knocking their finger out of the way so there was only one.

"Oh, we're dead." She glared at Elladan, who glared at Elrohir.

Each of them wanted to ask if he would report this back to Elrond, but they were afraid.

"Come on Glorfy," Elladan laughed nervously, "We were just having fun."

"Fun does not involve loud voices of terror."

"I didn't sound like that!" Sasha exclaimed, trying to save her pride. Glorfindel turned those blue eyes towards her, and she shut up.

"Elrohir was watching," Elladan tried a new approach, "Nothing happened."

"That may be,"

Elladan and Sasha looked at each other. May be?

"But," Glorfindel continued, "If it looks bad, it is bad. Do you both understand?"

They nodded.

"Now, seeing as you annoyed your father enough this evening, for his sake, I shall not report this. But I will be watching. Now you two," he turned to the twins, "out!"

As they shuffled out, Sasha grabbed Elladan's arm, "I won!" She whispered

"I let you win," he whispered back, "I let you have power."

Both turned to Elrohir for confirmation.

"He was letting you win," the other elf agreed. "If this was a real fight, he could kill you."

Sasha smiled, not bringing up she could do the same. In about ten seconds. She'd let them think they were right.

"Good game," she patted her opponent's shoulder. "Good game."

"We shall have to do it again"

She raised a brow, "And Glorfindel?"

"Avo 'osto. Leave him to us."

Sasha just stared.

"Fear not."

"Right, ok. I won't sweat about this. Um, you guys should go. I don't want anyone else coming around who could get us in even more trouble."

"One more thing." Elladan grabbed her attention

She nodded, "What's that?"

"Melin ceni hin lin sila I 'eladhach."

"Huhh? Wow, that was totally lost on me. I have no idea what you just said."

"We shall tell you tomorrow, we must depart." Elrohir looked like he wanted to eat his brother. "Until tomorrow."

"Alright, until tomorrow."


	30. Chapter 30

Ahh, ladies and gents(if any.) To find out the mystery behind Elladan's secret Elvish in the previous chapter, read on!

Sasha closed the door behind them, instantly feeling the loss. You know how when you have company over, be it friends or family, then the leave and you're hit with a big case of "What the hell do I do with myself now?"

She felt like that.

Of course she was tired, very tired actually. But those damn twins made her sleep so much on the road, she was sick of it. Should she go back and lounge in the bath? Should she walk around on her own to explore? She really, really wanted to go ride the horses, but the timing wasn't right. It did not dawn on her she would have a big day tomorrow with Erestor.

She tentatively opened the door to her room, hoping it wasn't like other doors in thousand year old places that squeak and sound like an animal dying. Relieved to see no guard once again, she shuffled out trying to take in every detail so she could come back without any trouble.

She got turned around in three different hallways, and finally made it outside, but not before muttering about damn similarities between damn elvish hallways that try to confuse visitors. Outside at last, she learned she could have very well ridden the horse if she felt like it. Although there weren't any office buildings or skyscrapers, hell they wouldn't exist for thousands of years, she was met with a big, full moon. She couldn't help to be impressed, she wasn't a nature fiend; tree hugger at all, but she did appreciate beauty.

"The new resident troublemaker of Imladris. How are you finding our fair land?"

Aw, shit. Noticed. And she didn't have one of the twins to float the conversation to.

"It's lovely," She turned around to look for the owner of the voice. It was another elf(duh!) with the same long, perfect hair. Do they all look like mirror images of each other, she thought?

She had gotten away with being sassy and snarky with the twins, God knows how. But this one was new. Should she sit and stay quiet, or actually talk? it didn't score her much points at home with the fellas, if they weren't going to talk-- she sure did.

"Hey, wait a second," it dawned on her, "You're the music instrument guy. Did you enjoy the show before?"

"Show? My Lady?"

"Oh God, no no no no no, I can't bear that again. Let's start over. Hi," she smiled. "I'm Sasha."

"Lindir."

"Ok, good. Now that we're familiar. And the show… Um, just what it says. The show of annoyance?"

"Yes, I understand now. Well, I did not see much if I am honest, but I think before Lord Elrond showed up, it looked… fun."

"Do I hear the voice of another future culprit?"

As long as she was hanging around, Lindir passed over some more instruments and started walking, beckoning her to follow. "Indeed, it looks very fun, but there is no way I can participate."

//Can't sit on a bed, can't join in on fun, these guys are nuts! If this living forever stuff is real, you have to amuse yourself somehow!//

"I see," She let it drop as she struggled to hold the now three instruments that were in her hands. "Are you a musician or something? Do you actually play all these?"

"Indeed."

"Wow, you're lucky. Every instrument I picked up I lost interest in. There was the piano, then the violin, then finally the guitar. I could just never find practice time."

She would have never had reason to tell that to the twins, it would have never come up.

"Did you not like them?" He asked, leading her to some storage room and placing his down. She did the same.

"Sure I did, but I wanted to sound good and rock out right away. I didn't have the patience to suck first, get good later."

He smiled, "I think I know what you tried to say."

"I know what I said goof," she laughed. "See, back home, people would have understood that."

"I am sure. Just like here, we would understand this: Rim hennaid"

"Fill me in, what does that mean?"

"It means 'Thank you'"

"Oh, for.." She looked to the instruments, "Oh no problem. Though, you never actually asked me to help you" She laughed, not really mad.

"I know," he smiled, "but you were not doing anything."

"I was staring at the moon. That's something."

She was happy, another argue buddy. She wondered if Lord Elrond had put out a memo saying there was some crazy, lost human hanging around. Humor her in every way.

"Yes, that is true. You were."

"Boo, you're not supposed to give in," She laughed, leaning back against one leg in the doorway. "That's boring."

"I cannot argue with the facts. So, Lady Sasha, what do you do at your home?"

"Collect evidence at crime scenes."

"I'm sorry?"

"Uh… I'm a Ranger." She finished quickly, remembering something the twins had been babbling about when she told them.

"They have lady rangers?"

//Oh yeah! Tons! Like my partner..//

"There's at least one."

"Well then Lady Sasha Ranger. I am sure Imladris is thankful for your arrival."

//Though I can't use your arrows, your swords..// She was still thinking.

"Aw, thank you. It's nice to hear that. Especially since I still feel like some outside intruder."

"Why is that? Has anyone told you such?"

She shook her head. "Not at all, though really I don't know anyone outside of the twins. I don't understand you guys, I'm not graceful- I guarantee I'll have fell on my butt plenty of times in front of everyone before I leave here, just hard being the only one."

"Well, at least you would be remembered for comedy."

She rolled her eyes, "Yep. That's Me! Comedienne extraordinaire." A thought came to her mind. "Hey, Lindir?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"If I were to say to you… Melin ceni hin lîn síla i 'eladhach. What did I just say?"

He thought for a minute, "Who told you that?"

She shrugged, "It's not important. I heard it somewhere where the food was." She hoped he believed her, and the only place she really was with other elves were the dining halls.

"Well then, you managed to find yourself privy to an extremely personal conversation."

She leaned forward, this was good.

"Whoever you heard that from said, 'I love to see your eyes shine when you laugh.'"

The wrestling. His feet. It made sense now, perfect sense.

"Awww. Girl, I'm allowed to swoon," she told a laughing Lindir.

"Thank you for translating for me, I appreciate it. I was just nosy," she tried to play it off, stretching out her legs. "I should go though, I mean God knows what someone would say about us here talking about instruments for crying out loud."

He nodded in agreement, "I shall escort you."

"I'm fine, reall- ok let's go." She knew she wasn't going to get anywhere.

"Please, at least back to the steps we met at."

"Ok ok, I'm not arguing." Remember, arguing with elves does not work.

"So will I see you again?" He asked, Elrond's grand home coming closer.

She hopped up onto the second step and turned around, "Looks like it!"


	31. Chapter 31

"Bed," Sasha stumbled in her room happily, flopping on the murder took place looking bed. She couldn't ignore it anymore, it was now a clear fact she was tired. No matter what time it was. She grabbed her previously used pillow, grateful Elladan's feet hadn't stunk everything out.

"Night everyone back home, 2010.. I miss you." (Note: Even though I started this in '09, I'm using '10 to keep current.)

-------

"Lady Sasha." Someone was shaking her

"Hmhmrm" she moaned into the pillow, turning to the side. "Go 'way."

Now he was poking her. "Are you ready for the day?"

"No! I'm not here. Leave a message after the beep…Beep"

"I am afraid I do not know what you are saying."

"Let me break it down for you," she didn't even bother to open her eyes. "If you don't leave me alone, I'll hit you."

"And you were doing so good with your temper, too."

Silence.

"Fine then. I apologize, but you leave me no other option." The voice calmly peeled away her blankets, and flipped her mattress, leaving a very shocked, awake, and annoyed Sasha staring at Glorfindel ,who wore a slight smirk.

"What the hell is your problem?! I was asleep."

"Yes, I am well aware."

"Ughh, What time is it?"

"It has been dawn for a quarter of an hour."

Bah, why couldn't he just give her a time. She had to think about this. Quarter of an hour, so 15?

"So, say… 7:15? Give or take?"

"Indeed."

"Uh-huh. Goodnight." She pulled up the blanket, quite ready to fall asleep on the floor. "I've fallen asleep in worse places than this."

"I am afraid that is not possible."

"It is possible. I'm tired, I want to sleep. Now you can stay if you'd like, but I'm going back to bed."

The balrog slayer was used to this. He had been though the same routine with the twins many, many times before. "Will I have to move you, or will you get up willingly. And don't," he lowered his voice, "make me move you."

"Don't you want to sleep too?"

"I do not need as much sleep as you do, so the answer to your query is no."

"But I'm tireddd," she whined, hoping he'd take pity on her.

"Indeed. I would be tired too if I returned to my quarters late at night from a storage room.. Now, will you move on your own or not?"

She moved her arm. "Does that count?"

"You are expected with Erestor in twenty minutes. I shall leave you now, but do not be late."

"Ugh no!" She couldn't help it, it came out before she realized. She remembered what the twins told her about cleaning after him.

"What is wrong?"

She sighed, standing. "Nothing. This is punishment day, isn't it?" At least she knew the twins would be getting the same rude wake up call, and they could have fun in their threesome of despair.

"It is not punishment that I am here for."

"Well what about going to-"

"You are to start lessons with Erestor immediately. Lord Elrond believes it would be beneficial to you during your stay with us."

"Lessons in what? I already know manners and how to curtsey" She whined, opening the dresser and seeing the same icky dresses as yesterday. Her face fell. "Is this on top of whatever Lord Elrond makes me do?"

"You are to have no punishment, as this will take up most of your time. Your learning of our tongue will be worth more than punishing you for your bravery."

//He knows// she thought. //He knows what I did.//

"Lessons in Sindarin, Customs, and history."

So language, maybe social studies, and history. Boo. Wasn't she done with this? "Great, so I have to wake up early to go to school again?" She was now even less excited to put on one of the dresses.

"School?"

"Uh, lessons. I've been done with them for about two years."

"I am sure you will remember quickly what is expected of you. Go now, prepare for the day. I shall be outside waiting."

"I'm talking to everyone fine" she sulked, changing out of her nightgown and into a silver dress. "at least everyone I'm interested in talking to."

Glorfindel laughed, hearing her through the door.

"Well, I've spent plenty of time being brain dead during class, I guess I can do it here as well."

She ran her fingers through her hair and quickly brushed her teeth. She slowed, when she realized that Erestor may get sick of waiting for her, and cancel this whole idea.

Unfortunately, she had nothing else to do. She was up, dressed, completely clean after the fountain incident, and fresh. What else was there?

She grudgingly opened the door to Glorfindel.

"Now do not look like we are sending you to your death."

""Don't talk to me."

"This was Lord Elrond's decision, Sasha. I assure you I had no involvement."

"Can we just get this over with? I really have no desire to talk."

"Well, you better pull yourself out of that mood, for you will be doing plenty of it."

She rolled her eyes as he turned her down one of the hallways she knew so well. Things were starting to sink!

"Besides," he continued, "I seem to remember your expressed desire to know about balrogs."

"From you, not someone else. You've got the experience." She hated having to say that to him; she still remembered how they did not get along.

"I will tell you myself, I promise. But teaching is not what I am here for, leave that to one who knows how to handle the job."

"You mean handle me."

"No, he means the job," Erestor spoke, opening the door to his study for the pair. "And first off, may I remind you that when I say fifteen minutes, I indeed mean fifteen minutes. No more."

Sasha shot darts at Glorfindel. Ok, so it wasn't his idea, but he was the one who woke her up and dragged her here.

"Whoa, I'm sorry. I'll do better next time."

He nodded shortly, moving aside for her to enter. He gibbered something to Glorfy and shut the door, sealing her into her very own Chamber of Horrors.


	32. Chapter 32

Sasha never understood what motivated people to become teachers. Once she hit high school, her mother, a former teacher herself, began telling her to major in education. When she balked, she pressed for a minor. Her cousin, her mother's brother's oldest son had just recently finished his stint as a student teacher, and would soon be going for a Masters in education. Her second boyfriend had wanted to teach high school English, and her mother loved him. Sasha couldn't see the appeal. Sure, it was cool having three months off, but you had to deal with whiny, bratty, kids all day. She should know- she got in trouble often in school, thanks to her big mouth.

"You know," she started, trying to break the silence. "I once had a teacher who didn't care if you passed notes, just as long as you didn't talk and interrupt the class."

"Then how are you to learn?" Erestor asked, sitting at his desk, beckoning Sasha to sit as well.

"I didn't, but he sure was popular!"

"And what subject was this?"

She thought for a second, it was awhile ago. In the 7th grade. "Science. It was science."

"Did you enjoy this class?" He took parchment and a quill for her.

"No way," she snorted. "I hated it. Science and math just need to go away and never, ever be taught again... Is that supposed to be a pen?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Quill actually. You know how to use one I assume?"

"No, I know how to use a pen, or a pencil. I've never used one of these things before. But," she continued as he started at her, "How much different can it be? Where does the ink come out?"

He pushed her a jar, 'In there."

She groaned, at least if she knew she was coming she could have packed to arrive. Better clothes and a pen were tops on her list.

"Are you ready, or would you like to dally more?"

"I guess I'm ready."

"Seeing as it is your first day in what I am assured are years, we shall start easy."

"Well thank you very much."

He ignored her. "Let us switch places for the moment. What can you tell me -anything- about where you are? Middle Earth, Elves, Imladris, anything?" In asking this, he could properly determine what she knew about the Ring as well.

"What do I know about you guys? Ok let me think.. I don't know anything about Middle Earth, or.. this place" she started, still unsure how to properly pronounce "Imladris," As they all spoke the word quickly. But here's what I know about Elves: You live up in trees, make cookies, and your leader is a cute little guy who wears a green jacket and has white hair."

"I am sure you know now you are quite mistaken."

She shrugged, "It's what I've seen." She didn't bother to say that she saw it on TV. She was already the freakish outsider, no use in making it worse by explaining things that couldn't possibly exist in their minds.

"What you have seen?"

"Yes. I'm not really a fan of cookies, but yours are pretty good." She nodded her approval.

"Lady Sasha, I am not certain where you got this cookie idea, but let me say this. If you indeed claim to be a Ranger, you of all people should know not to believe everything you see only once."

She wanted to cry out she wasn't a ranger, never had been, never will be. In her world, rangers were like bounty hunters, and that was a whole mess she wanted nothing to do with. At least the rangers the elves were imagining.

"I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear, but you asked and I answered."

"I will take it upon myself to tell you the correct facts."

"Like a story?" She asked, wanting to bait him.

"I suppose so."

"No middle ground, it's either a story or it isn't."

"Yes... I suppose it is."

She nodded, "I like stories. Ok, I'm in."

He opened the ink jar for her, "A story which will require your attention."

Ugh, nothing ever changed. Even when she got to watch movies in school, there were still damn notes to take.

"I guess you're all the same in every century, huh?"

"If you are ready."

Geez, talk about no nonsense. "Alright, I'm ready."

"Originally, all elves spoke one, common tongue. Perhaps this time would have been easier for you, as now we have broken into two forms. Quenya, spoken by what are called Light Elves- and Sindarin, by the Dark Elves, though not 'evil' dark. Are you with me so far?"

"Quenya and Sindarin, got it." Sindarin rang a bell, either one of the twins or Glorfindel had brought it up, but she couldn't remember who it was, or the circumstance.

"Now we, sometimes called the "Firstborn"-"

"Yeah I've heard that before, what's that mean?"

"I am getting there. Don't interrupt. Now, elves were created by Ilúvatar-"

"Who's that?"

"Do not make me say it again."

"Ok ok, sorry."

"Ilúvatar is the creator of both elves and men. Also, he created our world, which we call Arda. He did not, now listen this is important- did not create the ghastly beings known as dwarves."

"So this guy's like God? Created mankind, heaven and earth, blah blah blah."

"I am not sure what you are talking about, but if this God helps it make sense, than yes."

"So you were created by that guy. Ok, carry on."

"Now, I am not going to go into the ages and history so much as I wish for you to learn our language."

"So, both of those?"

"Yes. Now to prove to you I am not completely without a heart, you are excused for ten minutes, and ten minutes only. Go ahead."

"I'm free?"

"For the moment, your time has started."

"I'm going, I'm going...."

//Atilla the sub's a piece of work// She thought, shuffling out the door. Ten minutes was an eternity too short.

XXX

Wow, in the next chapter she's going to speak for the first time! I hope you enjoy!!


	33. Chapter 33

She knew Erestor meant well, but ten minutes really didn't give her much time. It wasn't like regular classes where she could run and grab a soda, or find someone to talk to. Also, she couldn't really wander off or go anywhere. What happened to messing around with the twins, she thought almost sadly. That was actually fun.

The fun that sealed her doom; it was her death warrant.

She leaned back against the wall and sent out mental cries of distress.

"Done so soon, my lady?"

She turned around, almost slamming into Glorfindel.

"Don' do that! You need a bell too!"

"Pardon me?"

"Never mind. Let's just start over. Oh, thank God it's you! Please, get me out of there!" she pointed to the study.

"You know I cannot; it surely is not that awful."

"The twins would rescue me," she said stubbornly. Actually, she wasn't completely sure of that, but she did have a strong feeling. "I'm going to die in there."

"Nonsense," he scoffed, "We have all been through it and have survived. Yes, I will admit it may be more difficult towards you, but this is your opportunity to show your brilliance."

She snorted, "What happened to a sympathetic" she choked out, "friend?"

"You will see nothing of that unless you first try."

"Ugh, come on Yoda, I can't do this and you know it!"

"No I do not know it, but then again what in Arda do I know?"

Ugh she hated being patronized. She turned away muttering something about how again, the twins would help her, maybe Lindir too.

"Come on," he grabbed her shoulders and opened the door again. "Back you go."

She scowled at him and hovered near the door as the elven lords exchanged words, no doubt about her. Awkward.

Erestor's eyes moved towards her, and she stared defiantly right back.

Bring in on, big fella.

"Heniach nin?" He kept his gaze on her, as Glorfindel turned to leave. (Do you understand me?)

She was in panic mode. It felt like a verbal language test she hadn't studied for, only she didn't have any friends around to feed her answers. Erestor knew full well she had no idea what was going on.

"Say 'lou(no)'" Glorfindel whispered to her before exiting. She ignored him. Her luck, it would be something inappropriate to the time like in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

Instead, she asked what the hell just went on and what they were talking about- only a little nicer.

"Do not worry over it, Glorfindel was just offering advice."

Sasha broke into a grin. So he needed advice, maybe a little help. Perhaps she could strike a deal. "I see, about what?"

"It is not important."

"Men! Elves, whatever male you are, you're all the same. When are you going to realize that girls don't accept nothing, or fine, or never mind as an answer? We don't even accept those amongst ourselves."

"He told me to show you no mercy"

"Who?"

"Lord Glorfindel"

"Oh." Oh. Ohhh. Shit. "So I just made a complete ass out of myself for nothing, didn't I?" Open mouth, insert foot, idiot!

There was a hint of a smile on Erestor's face. "Yes, I'm afraid you did. But I appreciate your concern, may we continue?"

She had to say yes after that display of spazz-ness. She nodded silently.

"Very well, in that case, havo dad." (Sit down)

"You know this would be a lot easier if you just gave me words I have to memorize, don't you?"

"Sit down. And by the way, Glorfindel was correct. Lau would have been an appropriate answer."

"I don't even know what you said."

"I asked child, if you understood me."

"Apparently not."

"Then there is your first lesson in vocabulary. I suggest you write it down."


	34. Chapter 34

In high school, Sasha had been an average student. It was hard to find her place in a school with over 3,000 kids, but she was no academic superstar. Her freshman and sophomore year, she didn't care anything about the work or classes. She wasn't bold enough to ditch at this time, so she went, but didn't focus. She cared more about boys, and her friends, and parties, and testing her parent's patience. Junior and Senior year, she got her act together a little more and began to pull up her pathetic excuse for a GPA. Only by this long in the game, she wasn't afraid to now ditch. However, much to her amazement, her final report card senior year consisted of A's and B's.

Then came college. She only went because it was what was expected of her. She couldn't be a bum, and an updated version of this pattern started again. Did great in the classes she went to and cared about, such as her criminal justice ones, only in college, she was able to drop the ones she deemed too hard such as lab sciences. After failing sociology due to "frequent absences," her parents had pulled the rug out of her freedom and dragged her back home where they could supervise her studies.

If Erestor hovered over her, she would have no choice but to buckle down and study- there would be nothing else to do. But, if he left her to her own methods and devices, she would be right back causing havoc with Elladan and Elrohir. There were some things that would never change, no matter how old you got.

It had been the realization of her parents paying thousands upon thousands of dollars for her school that had been the motivation to finish. They were forking over tons of money, and she was bopping around free as a bird with no discipline. She had to find that same motivation here.

She found it as Erestor babbled on about something that had to do with Quenyan(?) pronouns.

Well, you can stick that up your pie-hole, she thought defiantly. Just teach me how I can say "piss off" in your own language.

So she made a promise to herself. She'd try. Not do, not conquer by any means, but try.

Half an hour later, she would have rather taken a beating with a brick stick than stay in that seat. She hated when he made her repeat phrases or questions. Too many confusing words that her mouth just didn't want to make the right shape to pronounce. Short, tiny words she could handle just fine. Writing was atrocious; why couldn't they use letters like other languages instead of little pictures and squiggles.

She had started to slouch in her seat, and at once he pounced on her about posture. Sure, she had wanted to retaliate and fight back, but that would go against her plan of trying, so she just let it go. She did, however, wish he would give her those dratted words broken down.

She wished she had a white flag to wave at him. She wished she could cry uncle. This was a lot to deal with in one day, hell not even a day, hours. Was he so used to teaching elves, whom she was sure could master much more than she ever could in this time.

"So, if you were to write Imladris, or Rivendell to you, it would look like this."

She let her head fall to the desk. At once, Erestor was at her side looking rather worried. "Are you alright, will you be needing assistance?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm goo- Ow, that really does hurt!" She realized, rubbing her head. "Sorry, go ahead."

"Perhaps we should consider ourselves finished for today."

A tiny seed of hope sprang up into her heart, dare it be? "Are you sure?"

"I am very sure. You are dismissed, run around and eat something."

Rising from her seat, trying not to smile, all she had to say was "If you insist."

XOXOXOXOOXXOXOXOXOXOXO

She was indeed hungry, but didn't go straight to the dining halls. She wasn't brave enough to face the curious stares by herself yet. Instead, she walked around and explored, grateful to be outside. The air was cool and crisp, and beat the hell out of snowy DC. In some ways, this place really was the quintessential utopia. Wait, she thought, aren't utopias damned to fail? Well this place won't.

She was willing to bet her life on that thought.

Taking a chair under a large tree, she watched various elves spar with their swords. On one hand, it was stiff and robotic. One elf couldn't fool his comrades- it was as if they all knew the same tricks, and sequences. No surprise. On the other hand, it was beautiful and precise, and flawless. She knew if she got out there, she'd probably either die herself, or kill a bystander. Still, it didn't stop her from wanting to try. She was damn sure she could block for her life. She got up and approached the group, "Can I fight winner?"

Nobody spoke. They just stared at her. This girl, this human had skills?

"It's a simple question guys, can I go next or not?" They were starting to make her uncomfortable.

Someone she didn't know tossed her a helmet, and she stood patiently waiting for someone to surrender their sword.

Oh God, she thought as she finally saw them all up close, today I think I die.

"Sasha."

Grr, only a few people knew her name, and since she didn't recognize any of these guys, she was sure it was no one in this group. She turned to tell the voice to butt out; she was busy.

"Hey, uh, Elladan." So much for butt out.

"Ada requested you," he said coolly, staring straight at her. "Come with me."

"Now?" Bah, perfect timing.

"Yes, now."

She took off the helmet and handed it back to one of the warriors and shrugged apologetically, hoping they'd get the hint that it wasn't her doing, then trudged to Elladan like a child who was recently punished. He mumbo-jumboed something to the others then took her arm.

"So, what does he want?" She asked, trying to feel out this mood. She didn't know what his deal was now.

He didn't look at her, "Nothing. Not a thing, he didn't send for you at all. But I had to get you out of there."

"And why was that?"

"Because, you do not know how to handle a blade and could have gotten hurt."

She was too tired to get mad and yell. Already it was too long of a day, and her head still hurt. "And isn't that my business?"

"Sasha," he turned to her, "Regardless what your stance is on your personal safety, there are those here who care about you."

"Ohh, that's nice. And I take it you're one of them?"

"Yes, I am one of them."

"Look, Elladan," she stopped him and quit walking. "That's nice. Really nice actually. But I'm ok, I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions and battling though the consequences, no matter how crappy they are. I'm not this little lost nobody in that place you need to watch out for anymore- well yeah I am," she babbled, "but you know what I mean."

"I believe so, yes."

"Good," she patted his arm, "glad we had this little talk."

"I still wish to protect you though."

"Ugh, why Elladan? And please, don't tell me it's just what you guys do, it's normal."

This was it, Elladan realized. The opportune moment. "Do you really not know?" He asked after a minute.

She sighed. "I do know, yes. And I'm trying to ignore it. I suggest you do the same. Before, I wanted to smack the crap out of you for bothering me and trying to follow me and not let me think in peace, but you've grown on me."

"Then why must we fight so hard?" He knew why; he knew exactly why, but Elladan for all his many years in the world, never ever thought he'd be in this position.

"Why? Well let's count the ways, shall we? One. You're about six billion years older than I am."

"I am not that old yet."

"Two," she checked it off on her fingers, "I could die tomorrow, hell, in the next minute really."

Elladan was silent, he knew that one well and had no argument.

"Third, and this goes hand in hand with dying, but I'm not from here. If I'm lucky, I'll magically disappear and be gone and you still won't have me around. Shall I continue?"

He knew that point as well. He always knew why elves don't generally bother with humans, no matter how attractive or special.

"Is there anything you'd like to add, so I don't seem the like monster in this group?"

"I get what you are saying, I've heard plenty, and you must believe me when I say it does not happen often-"

"Gee, I wonder why?" She interrupted.

"But," he ignored her, "The heart knows when the search is over."

She smiled briefly before laughing, "That is the corniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Ok," she had a thought, and quickly sobered up. "So, we get together, every thing's great, we're happy, blah blah blah, and I get to go home. Yeahhh I'll be sad, real sad. You want that for me?"

"Of course not."

"Or," she continued, determined to make her point. "To us, to humans, you live to be 100, well hell you're doing something right. I don't think many people know the secret, but it happens. And that's impressive, most people don't make it that far. Now you're what? About six billion?"

He smiled a little, "About."

"Now, think back to 100. How long, long, long, long, LONG ago that was. And how long, long, long, long, LONG you'd be without me, IF I even made it to 100, knowing that most people don't get that far."

"It would be awful."

"It would be incredibly awful! For me too. Even when I'm floating around as my little ghost person, you'd be without me and I'd be without you. It sucks either way, there's no way to win."

"It would most definitely hurt, you are correct about that."

"And what am I wrong about?"

"What if I were to chose a mortal life?"

"Oh you get that choice now, when it's nice and convenient? So you do this, we end up breaking up, hating each other, and then you're stuck dying because of me and hate me for it. No," she started walking away. "No, no, no. No."

"I assure you, that will not happen," He walked after her, grabbing her arm again.

She sighed, looking at him sadly, "Then maybe you haven't lived long enough, because it always does."


	35. Chapter 35

Hi Everyone! I'm so glad you're all enjoying this little diddy! For those of you who are about to skewer me right now, don't worry. Sasha isn't going to kick Elladan off the face of the earth- I promise. Thank you, each and every one of you for your support, I appreciate you all!!

XOXOXOXO

As she walked back to the seclusion of her quarters, Sasha tried to think of new arguments that supported her position. Sure, long life spans were in her family; she had a great aunt who was on of the 100 plus club, and her grandma was 88 and still kicking, but that was no where close to six billion. No matter how she looked at it, it just wasn't possible.

And if he really could give up this living forever deal, she didn't want that over her head. Sort of like an 'I did this for you, now I own you' mentality. She didn't sense that from him, but she'd known plenty of people who start out as these charming sweep you off your feet types, then become themselves once you're theirs. She really wasn't looking to fight her way back from such a circumstance.

She was still hungry, but there was no food now that could help her. Well, save for Mac 'n cheese, but she doubted the elves would know what that is, much less make it. So, she did what she had become accustomed to do with Elladan; she ignored it.

With mild difficulty. There are some times it's easier to ignore your heart, but it's even harder to ignore your stomach.

She briefly noted her door handle was polished recently, but ignored it. Maybe Adonnenniel had just been bored. Personally, she could think of a million other things to do instead of polishing a door handle, but it was clear the elves and herself were indeed different. She pushed it open and stopped dead in her tracks. This wasn't her room. This didn't even look like her room. This was way grander and more detailed than her room, be it here or back home could ever be.

"Oh. Shit." She muttered to herself, looking around. "Maybe if I just back out now, I can deny the whole thing?"

"Your denial will not be necessary, for I am certain you mean no harm."

She jumped, and turned around to the door way. Another elf, no doubt the owner of the room she was now blocking. She held up her hands in defense. "I'm sorry, it was an accident. But it's gorgeous by the way." She moved to the side, giving the clear through the door. "Um, bye."

"You do not need to leave, Sasha."

She cleared her throat, "No, I think I do. Wait," she turned towards the other girl, "How do you know who I am?"

"You are something of a novelty I'm afraid. Nearly everyone knows of the human my brothers brought back."

"Uh huh," she dwelled on that for a whole three seconds before deciding it was alright. At least she was famous, right? "I breiefly hearing about you, but I can't remember if they told me your name."

She was awful at names, and she knew it, and had no problems admitting it. But, she'd remember your face thirty years down the road.

"Mae Govennen, Im Arwen," She smiled warmly, "Man eneth lin?"(Well met, I'm Arwen. What is your name?)

"You know who I- Ohhh I get it! Um, Im Sasha."(I'm Sasha.)

She smiled, "Well done."

"I can do short things fine, just don't ask me anything confusing," She laughed. "Well, at least not yet. I have a feeling I'm going to have to do it whether I want to or not."

"Knowing Erestor, that is a very likely assumption. Would you like to come in?"

"I can't, I mean, uh,I shouldn't. I kind of have a lot of things I have to worry about right now, so..." She let the sentence die.

"My brother."

How in the world did these people, sorry elves, know everything?

"Yeahh," she admitted, "He's one of them."

"You are unsure of what do to."

She nodded, "That would be correct."

"I usually do not meddle in my brothers' affairs for the generally do not heed my advice, but-"

"He wanted you to talk to me, didn't he?"

"How did you know?"

She smirked, nodding. "They're all the same. Let me guess... He wanted you, as another girl, to find out how I feel about him, correct?"

"Correct."

Sasha sighed, and brushed her hair back.

"You do not have feelings for him?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then you are very much in love?"

The human was taken aback. Love was pushing it. Big time.

"I didn't say that either."

Arwen was confused, so much for getting a straight answer. Not only for Elladan's sake but for hers as well. "Then what do you say?"

"I say..." She thought for a second, trying to figure out the best way to explain this to an immortal. "I say love takes time. A lot of time. Funny," she smiled sadly, "Humans can take years to fully love someone, and you guys who have all the time in the world to sit and mull things over and just ready to love in an instant. We're both using the same word, but it means something completely different."

"Then why use words at all?" Arwen raised an eyebrow, "Why not silence your mouth and your thoughts and just feel?"

Sasha wondered if that was a nice way of telling her to shut up.

"You don't have to talk me into liking him, I already do. But anything more, right now," she added quickly, "is way way too fast for me. You know, I don't think I've ever said that out loud before."

"Sounds as though you have already made your choice. Now, you must not stray from it."

"Noo," She groaned, putting her head in her hands and rubbing her face. "This is a bad, bad idea. It can't possibly end up well."

Arwen put her hand on the girl's shoulder gently. "You have to trust that he is strong enough to withstand whatever does indeed happen, just as he must with you."

"Why are you so, I don't know, ok with this?" Sasha asked, wishing she could be anywhere in the world but Rivendell, Middle-Earth.

"I too, hold deep feelings for one of the second born. And he shares your worries."

"Before I came here, I'll have you know I worried about very little."

Arwen smiled, "You are never too old to learn something new."

Not entirely comfortable with the whole curtsy thing, Sasha smiled and bowed her head. "So it would seem"


	36. Chapter 36

**Food quote was taken from the series "Taxi"*

She eventually made it back to the right room, and as she did Arwen's words began to make sense. In her way, the elf was saying take the risk. She was; Sasha could too. Only difference, what if Arwen and this guy were in actual real true over the fence love? Of course it would be worth it; of course it would be something you would do.

What if she never got the chance to fall in any type of love with Elladan? Although she doubted it by this stage- what if she really was asleep? A long sleep. Like a coma or something and she could have a chance of coming back, waking up, and then all of Rivendell would be gone. After all, she had never got down on her hands and knees and begged or prayed to God to send her. Or she could be dead, this could be some form of Heaven, and she'd be here awhile and therefore have all the time in the world to run after boys. Er, elves. She didn't know, and she felt like as long as she was in the dark about this, how was she ever going to figure this out? She wanted to invite herself up to Lord Elrond and ask if there had been any progress, but she thought it would be a bad idea. He seemed more of the kind who asked for you when he was damn good and ready for you. Not the other way around.

She wouldn't ask Glorfindel for all the tea in China, and she figured she annoyed Erestor enough, so she wouldn't ask him either. It had to be Lord Elrond; but how do you march up to someone and say 'Hey, how's it going? How's the family? By the way, am I going home or not?'

She peeled the dress off her and went to sit in the bath. Normally, the shower was her thinking place, but we make do with what we have. If Erestor had released her sometime about lunch, it had to be somewhere close to dinner now. She was hungry, but was in no rush to see Elladan now and deal with more pleading.

"Ughh, I'm not thinking about cheeseburgers," She whined, leaning back in the tub and stared at the ceiling. She was getting sick of greens and crackers. "I'm not thinking about pork chops. I'm not thinking about pot roasts. I'm not thinking about Twinkies. I'm not thinking about minestrone. I'm not thinking about peas...*" And she didn't even like Twinkies.

No, instead she was thinking about how the others, elves that is, would react to this. So, Arwen loved a human. Now, apparently, so did Elladan. She floated back to thinking to Lord Elrond; if the elves really could 'turn human' and thus one day die, that would be two out of his three. If she were a mother and her the majority of her kids were doing this, she wouldn't take it that well. She knew she had a very different personality from the elves, and there was a tiny shot maybe parents let go and accepted it as flying out of the nest, but it was unlikely. Parents were parents no matter which way you cut it. They didn't want anyone to take their kids away and no one was ever good enough.

"It's pretty much suicide for them," she realized "Here I am, I'm human. Go ahead, I'm ready to die."

"Would you do the same for him if you could?"

She turned. "Damn it Adonnenniel," she cursed, "Don't you start that too."

"Start what, May I ask?"

"Sneaking up on me. But it's fine, I've got other things to worry about. Um, what were you talking about?"

"I was asking if you would choose immortality for Lord Elladan."

"Does everyone here have nothing better to do than to butt into the human's life?

She smiled, sitting on the edge of the tub. "No, we do not. Especially when the news involves Lord Elladan."

She would have smiled at the fact elves gossip as much as a human, but she wasn't in the right place.

"I don't have that option."

"I'm sorry?"

"The whole live forever thing. I don't have that choice." She declined to elaborate saying one day she would be worm chow.

"I know; I know you do not need to make the decision the half elven must make. I was merely asking."

"Wait wait wait wait," she started, "Half elven?" There were elf mutts?

She nodded, "You did not know"

"And what's this decision you're talking about?"

"They receive a choice. Since the First Age children of what are called 'Half Elven' can either forsake all immortality and live as humans, well, or not. We are to live as long as the world exists. Lord Elrond had to decide, you know."

"No I don't, what happened?" She leaned closer to the elf. Now this was history she didn't mind. This history was a big story.

"Well, Lord Elrond also had a twin. His name was Elros."

His name is Elros... Named for my kin... Ah, now she understood.

"And well, judging I've met Lord Elrond but not his brother, the brother became a man? It doesn't take a genius to figure out where this is going."

Ok, that sounded just plain weird. Of course one would become a man. At least in her world.

Sigh. Her world. Like she was some alien.

"Tell me, my Lady. In your studies, have you heard anything about the race of the Maiar?"

"No, never heard of them. Why?"

"There is more to the story, more information so to speak, but I do not wish to confuse you. So to keep it simple, yes. Lord Elrond's brother chose the fate of Man."

Eek. "Is um, is his brother still living?"

"No. He is not."

"Ahhh, and since his brother didn't meet a very good, but yet a very obvious end, Lord Elrond probably isn't crazy about the idea of any of his kids making that choice." If she suspected a lecture, that had to be it, it would make perfect sense.

"I would assume not, no. But," She rose, handing Sasha a towel, "Parents do want their offspring to be happy, do they not?"

"As long as it doesn't cost them any pain," Sasha took the towel, noting it smelled faintly of roses. "Some parents can be selfish… They'll let their kids go, but on their terms. Other parents, I guess so. Maybe. Sometimes. I mean it depends what it is really. For example, mine would go with 'maybe' all the time, which generally meant yes, but every now and then there was a no." She babbled. All she had to do was keep talking. Keep babbling. As long as she rambled on, she didn't have to sit, think hard, and make any decisions.

Adonnenniel gave Sasha her hand to get out of the tub. "There has been talk," she eyed the human, her gray eyes wide.

"Lies. All lies. I wasn't involved."

"No, of course not. There is talk Lord Elrond is not particularly happy with Lady Arwen's choice of a mortal."  
Sasha nodded, tying the strings of a robe. "I wouldn't think so. If I knew my daughter was walking into certain, though many years from death on purpose I wouldn't be happy either. You know what she has to say?" Sasha asked, gearing into her gladness to have a girlfriend mode, "She needs to sit her dad down, say I love you, I know you love me, but it's my life, it's my turn, and butt out."

"Butt out?"

"Ah, mind your own business?"

"Much better." The elf bit her lip and shifted on her feet, she couldn't stay just because she felt like it.

"Something on your mind, Adonnenniel?"

"No, my Lady."

Sasha stared at her.

"Yes."

"Ok, shoot. What's up?"

"May I ask you a personal question?"

"You sit by me in the tub, we have no secrets." Sasha laughed, pulling the other girl on the bed. "Let's hear it."

"Have you ever been fond of one your parents did not like?"

Sasha laughed heartily and shook her head, "Just about all of 'em! One, the one I have genuine hate for, well... We wanted to run away to the West Coast and live together, eventually get married, blah blah blah. Well, when I brought that up to my parents at dinner one night, my dad looked me square in the eye, said he couldn't stop me because I was an adult, but don't write home asking for any money. I was about 20 years old. Then a few years later- different guy mind you, but again… Got serious, wanted to move in, all that stuff. He told me if for whatever reason we break up; don't come home- go to a shelter. I know a lot of that probably doesn't make sense to you, but…" She trailed off, letting it die.

"Um, no," she started again, clearing her throat. "To answer your question, my mom has only liked one. And that's because he wanted to be a teacher, like she was."

"Your mother?"

"Like Erestor?"

Different voices echoed through the room and broke Sasha's tiny moment of flashbacks. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. She smiled at Adonnenniel and rolled her eyes.

"Laverne and Shirley, front and center."

"Who?" Elrohir asked, looking out the door.

"Just get over here, both of you."

The twins pounced on the bed like double torpedoes and Adonnenniel smiled shyly.

"Is everyone who is going to hear out the rest of the  
story here on this bed at the present moment?" Sasha asked, craning her head over the heads of the twins. "Anyway, Adonnenniel, yes. Like Erestor, but from what I notice, he teaches a little of everything. Back home, when students get older, they have teachers who teach specific subjects. Like you'll have a teacher who just teaches Math, or who just teaches um," she thought for a moment, "archery, or just teaches sciences. You all with me?"

They nodded.

"Ok, good. My mom taught history."

"Did she ever teach you?"

"Actually no, but when I had a course in college on the History of England, she was more excited than I was! She wouldn't let me sell back the book and wanted to actually come to class. Medieval and Tudors and King Henry VIII and all that, God she eats that stuff up!"

"What did this man want to teach?" Elrohir asked her, as Sasha wondered just how much of her story they heard.

"Math," she answered quickly. "He wanted to teach math."

It was a lie; her ex truly wanted to teach High School English, but she didn't want to get into what's English, and teach me, and who speaks it- all the questions.

"Ew, why?" All three elves made a face. She agreed completely, math was the devil.

"He liked it I guess," she laughed. "I hated it with a passion!"

"You didn't have it with Erestor!"

"Eww," Sasha did her Lucy Ricardo impression, very true. She did have some strict teachers herself, but the twins were probably right. No one has ever made her march as much as Erestor.

"God, Erestor," She laughed, laying her head in her lap, "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I should be standing by the desk going Yes Sir or No Sir."

"You feel lost." Elladan said simply.

She nodded, "Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling you, my Lady."

She gave him a thumbs up, "Good call. Come on guys," she looked towards Adonnenniel, "And ladies. I'm hungry, let's go look for some chow."

"I assume by chow, you mean food?" Elrohir asked, eying her.

"Food, chow, grub, the list goes on and on," She explained, listing more terms as the group walked down the hall.


End file.
